All posts by Andrew

Culture, Life, Politics, Pop Culture, Religion, Society

Disclaimer

May 11, 2015 Andrew Leave a comment

This blog, article, whatever you call it has been on the back of my mind longer than any other I’ve written. A blog about how in modern society we have to give a god damn disclaimer before doing or saying anything. Most people will probably read this article and doze off three lines in so how do you start such a blog without first giving a disclaimer? Seems almost ironic that I would need a disclaimer to write a blog throwing jabs at disclaimers.

Basically, the gist of my angst here is that you can’t just be honest any more. You can’t just say what you think any more. You can’t just say the obvious any more. No matter how blatantly fucking obvious, or benign, or trivial something is these days, we all have to give disclaimers beforehand for fear of being shamed out of town, because we’ve fostered this atmosphere of wussiness.

I mean ordinarily, I would have been inclined to say at the beginning of this blog “Warning, this blog is about to use foul language. For those of you with children eyes, turn on the Disney Channel instead”.

People have to give disclaimers for practically everything they do. Here are some common examples you’re exposed to every day, whether at work, at home, during the holidays, or out in public.

What you say: “I can see your point of view, however it’s my opinion that…”
What you mean: “I heard you. I’m about to talk, please don’t hate me.”

What you say: “Before I begin, I want to clarify that I didn’t vote for Bush…”
What you mean: “Don’t hate me, I’m not Republican.”

What you say: “….oh and by the way, I’m Mexican.”
What you mean: “Don’t hate me, I’m not racist.”

What you say: “No offense, but…”
What you mean: “You won’t like what I’m about to say, please don’t hate me.”

What you say: “Excuse me, can you please lower your voice. I can’t hear the movie.”
What you mean: “I paid $12 for this ticket! Shut the fuck up before I shove my foot up your ass!”

You might argue these are niceties. But I think it’s really just pussy footing. Sometimes I wanna just blurt out “Offense intended. That’s a stupid idea.” There’s being flat out rude, and then there’s being flat out ridiculous, and I feel like the pendulum has swung very far in that direction. Even when something isn’t rude we’re afraid of coming off as rude because as a society we’ve slowly but surely been getting thinner skinned. So many people have such delicate sensibilities, and it seems like every issue is a hot topic of controversy for someone.

I’ve been told not to talk about politics even when I am with like-minded people in public, because some random person I’ll never see again might overhear and get offended. Gasp!

But exactly that’s the root of it. People being offended. Us being offended. Have we all always been so easily offended? Did we always use to cower when something of controversy was said amidst a mixed crowd at a dinner party? Do we dare not raise out glass in agreement with the stranger across the room for fear of earning some random bloke’s enmity? What happened?

Whatever fucking happened to straight shooters? Whatever happened to people who know what they want and say it. They just fucking say it for the sake of saying it? Whatever happened to Eminem? Clint Eastwood, Winston Churchill and George W. Bush? What happened to not giving a fuck?

To quote the great Marshall Mathers, “Whatever happened to wildin out and being violent? Whatever happened to catchin a good old-fashioned passionate ass whoopin’ and getting your shoes, coat, and your hat tooken”

We give disclaimers for almost everything. It’s expected that you do, and rude if you don’t. If you just go off and say what you want to say, without first lubing up the sensibilities of the people around you, you’re bound to create some friction, and some enemies.

Because of this, a void in communication has been created. There are certain opinions, certain ideas, certain offensive truths that dare not be spoken for fear of offending someone and permanently landing yourself on their shit list. No more getting invited to couples charades. What has filled this void, is lies, false pleasantries, groupthink, blind obedience to, and agreement with those whose sensibilities might be offended. We’ve catered our thoughts and speech to the lowest common denominator of the emotionally volatile.

Starbucks caught a lot of flak for starting up a dialogue about race. That’s all, let’s just talk about race. Howard Schultz never told his employees to don a white hood and start setting crosses on fire, but that’s how people reacted to it.

When you baby a kid, he turns into a baby. So let’s stop treating everyone like babies. Let’s toughen up. Let’s be bold and speak what’s on our minds. I’m not saying go out and be rude, but let’s stop acting like the simple act of disagreeing is rude. Let’s stop acting like being individuals, and thus have individual thought, is an offence. Am I asking you to stop using disclaimers? Well…

Movies, Pop Culture, Review, TV Shows

What’s Next for Marvel MCU

April 16, 2015 Andrew 1 Comment

When I speak of Marvel in this blog, I am speaking exclusively about the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which encompasses the movie/film franchises owned by Disney.

Just Happened

Just this month, Marvel released their Netflix original series Daredevil which focuses on Matt Murdock, the lawyer turned vigilante who fights crime in Hell’s Kitchen, New York. Just several days old and the series already has a 97% on Rotten Tomatoes (certified fresh) from critics, and a 98% from audiences. After binge watching the entire series myself, I give the show a 9 / 10, and you can read my review here.

About to Happen

But an entire series being released in one day isn’t enough, not for Marvel and Disney who have quite the roller coaster planned for fans over the next several months, and years.

Next month, one of the most anticipated movies of the year comes out, Marvel’s Avengers: Age of Ultron. Audiences have waiting three years for the big four to team up again on the silver screen, and Marvel is repaying that anticipation with interest. The next Marvel cinematic installment will have Captain America, Iron Man, Hulk, Thor, Nick Fury, Black Widow, Hawkeye, and Maria Hill from the previous Avengers, and they’ll be adding to the roster Quicksilver, Scarlett Witch, Vision, War Machine, Falcon, and let’s not forget Ultron. And these are just the ones we know about. Who knows what tricks Marvel has up its’ sleeve.

And Then…

Then just a few weeks later Marvel is broadening the MCU with the theatrical release of Ant Man starring Paul Rudd and Michael Douglas. While the name is not very inspiring, and most non comic book fans won’t know who this is, Ant Man is a very important keg in the Marvel machine. In the comics, the original Ant Man, Hank Pym, is responsible for creating the maniacal villain Ultron.

The commonly accepted narrative right now is that the story is being rewritten so that Tony Stark is credited for screwing over the world. However with Ant Man the movie following so closely on the heels of Age of Ultron, I suspect there might be more to the story than we’ve been told. My guess is that the central Ant Man characters will be revealed in Age of Ultron and somehow tied into his origins – meaning Marvel isn’t simply broadening their universe, they are entangling it.

Let’s Not Forget About TV

Enough with the silver screen, let’s get back to TV land for a second. If you’ve learned anything about Marvel over the past decade, it’s that they don’t flash and fizzle. Daredevil is the first Netflix series they’ve made, but it is by no means the only one. In fact, a quick look at IMDB would reveal that Charlie Cox will be reprising his role as the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen again in another Netflix series The Defenders – Netflix’s shot at their own Superhero team up.

By 2016, Netflix and Marvel intend to release four series in total – I am sure with more on the way. The first three shows are Daredevil, Luke Cage, and A.K.A. Jessica Jones. The title characters of those shows will then join up and form The Defenders – Marvel’s television comeback to the Avengers – a group of heroes starring in a fourth Netflix show of the same name. This is huge news, because in the next year, the number of Marvel/Disney franchises will mushroom 50% from the current tally of eight, up to 12.

Risk Taking

Marvel is doubling down on a recipe that has already worked for them when they tied together four franchises for 2012’s Avengers. Will it work out for them on TV like it did in theaters? Time will tell.

But all of this is working towards something even bigger. As we all know, Captain America: Civil War is just around the corner which will focus on the fictional Superhero Registration Act from the comics several years ago. With only about a year to go, can audiences expect all the familiar faces both old and new to take sides in the divisive and controversial tug-of-war between Captain America/Steve Rogers and Iron Man/Tony Stark?

Audiences will get tired of the same old routine of splitting apart and bringing back together the four Avengers every couple years to fight the Bad Guy of the Week. My guess is Marvel is well aware of this, which means that in order to keep the party going they’re going to need to up the stakes. Expect to see an ever increasing number of heroes flying around and blasting their way through Earth and the cosmos.

Spider-Man

And to top it all off, Marvel and Sony have reached a nail biting agreement, which will allow Marvel to feature Spider-Man in their movies. Fans are happier than ever that Disney magic can breathe some fresh life into the Spidey saga that thus far has inspired no awe even after two relaunches in the past decade. The big question on nerds’ minds now, is will there be enough time to write Spiderman into the Civil War moving coming out in 2016? In the comics Peter Parker played a huge role in the events of the Civil War story arc, so fingers crossed Kevin Feige can work the web slinger in artistically.

Distant Future

Here is a timeline of recent events and events to come in the Marvel Cinematic Universe:

2010-April-10: [Netflix Series]Daredevil series airs on Netflix
2015-May-01: Avengers: Age of Ultron
2015-July-17: Ant-Man
2015-Sep-Late: [TV Series] Agents of Shield: Season 3
2015 Unknown: [Netflix Series] A.K.A. Jessica Jones
2015 Unknown: [Netflix Series] Iron Fist
2016-May-06: Captain America: Civil War
2016-Nov-04: Doctor Strange
2016 Unknown: [Netflix Series] Luke Cage
2016 Unknown: [Netflix Series] Defenders
2017-May-05: Guardians of the Galaxy 2
2017-July-28: Thor Ragnarok
2017-Nov-3: Black Panther
2018-May-4: Avengers: Infiniti War Part I
2018-July-6: Captain Marvel
2018-Nov-2: Inhumans
2019-May-3: Avengers: Infiniti War Part II

And with Marvel brass saying they have plans out to 2028, we can expect years – no – decades of more fun.

Who are your Favorite Marvel MCU Characters?

Review, TV Shows

Daredevil: Series Review

April 11, 2015 Andrew 1 Comment

My apologies in advance as this is one of my longer blogs.

On Friday April 10^th, the long awaited Marvel series, Daredevil, was exclusively released on Netflix. As with other Netflix original series such as Orange is the New Black, the online cinema mogul released all episodes of the first season simultaneously meaning viewers could binge watch all 13 episodes in one go. By Saturday April 11, 2015, I had finished the entire first season. And I already wish there was a second season to finish binge watching by April 12.

For those not in the know, the Daredevil series is a part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), meaning that it exists in the same fictional story universe as the Captain America, Iron Man, Incredible Hulk, Thor, and Avengers franchises, and the network television shows Agents of Shield and Agent Carter.

Daredevil Dares to be Different

Despite being in the same fictional universe, Daredevil varies wildly both in tone and approach from the other Marvel franchises – most of all its’ TV siblings. Whereas Agents of Shield is very campy and at times even childish, Daredevil strikes a much more serious tone. Netflix original series don’t have FCC ratings, but if they did Daredevil would be inches shy of an R rating. Some of the bloody beat downs Daredevil lays on his enemies approaches a level of gratuitous violence usually reserved for villains.

Daredevil series is no stranger to bloody violence.

Agents of Shield makes regular – if not too many – references to the other series, or characters in the MCU. Daredevil on the other hand made very, very few. People dorkier than I may have caught some that I missed, but I only counted two Easter eggs in total. There were several mentions of the ‘attack on New York’ from 2012’s Avengers. The other was a comment about “an iron suit or a magic hammer”, alluding to Iron Man and Thor, though no names are ever used directly.

Daredevil is a dark show, but it steps out of Marvel’s shadow.

Plot and Setting

True to Marvel form – with the exception of Agent Carter – Daredevil take’s place in the chronological order in which it was released. It takes place in Marvel Phase 2, after Avengers and Winter Soldier, but before Avengers: Age of Ultron.

The show focuses on Matthew Murdock, an attorney turned vigilante who fights crime on his home turf of Hell’s Kitchen, New York City. Few references are made to other Marvel characters but the jury is still out as to whether Captain America or Spiderman will ever cameo in the show, given that all three masked heroes hail from the city that never sleeps.

This isn’t just New York with it’s lights and skyscrapers. This show welcomes you to Hell’s Kitchen, an unforgiving and downtrodden part of the city where street thugs are the least of your problem. Corrupt cops, dirty politicians, and crime lords reign supreme. The city is dark, dirty, and gritty.

Hell’s Kitchen is one of the leading characters of the show.

The antagonist of the first season is one of Daredevil and Spidey’s arch nemesis – Wilson Fisk, aka the Kingpin played by Vincent D’Onofrio (Full Metal Jacket). Though not as physically intimidating as Michael Clarke Duncan in the 2003 feature film of the same name, D’Onofrio plays a frightening, cunning, brutal and resolute version Kingpin that keeps you on the edge of your seat, and dominates every scene he’s in. Oh, but he can still throw down and is not someone you’d want to meddle with in an alley.

Cast and Characters

The show focuses as much on Matthew Murdock (Charlie Cox) as it does on the Daredevil, which makes for some very interesting story telling and character development. What’s most interesting about the show is Murdock’s history. He has a back story that make’s Bruce Wayne’s sound almost pleasant by comparison.

As a child, Matt’s mom left him and his dad as they scraped to get by. His dad was a professional boxer – but not a very good one – and would come home bloodied and beaten on a regular basis, to which young Matt had to stich him up. Matt was later blinded in an accident which left him traumatized as he struggled with walking, reading, and adjusting to everyday life. Shortly thereafter his father was murdered after a fixed boxing match went south. Now Matt was not only an orphan, but a poor blind orphan living in the government system.

The fight that would indirectly take the life of Matt Murdock’s father.

There was no trust fund, no Alfred, no Wayne Manor, no multinational corporation to fall back on. Matt Murdock had nothing but his will and his wit – and pulled himself from the gutter with amazing tenacity.

As awe inspiring as his story may be, you forget just how fear inspiring Murdock can be when donning his mask. He’s no chump. He’s quiet, watchful, brooding, and very dangerous. The show does a fantastic job of making Matt look like a normal (albeit blind) guy in the day, while surrounding him with an air of mystique and dread at night.

Murdock has the benefit of some strong supporting characters Karen Page played by Deborah Ann Woll (Trueblood) and best friend Foggy Nelson played by Elden Henson (Butterfly Effect). Woll and Henson offer amazing performances making their characters that much more interesting, and the story that much more believable. Thank the heavens Hollywood has taken us out of the age of the useless sidekick. Karen and Foggy are loyal friends, and although they aren’t MMA fighters, they should not be easily dismissed.

Rosario Dawson does a great job playing Claire Temple, also known as the Night Nurse in the comics. Unfortunately, she was relegated to just 2 episodes out of the entire 13 episode season. I hope to see more of her in Season 2, or in the other Marvel Netflix series coming out soon.

Claire Temple / Night Nurse patching up Daredevil after a bout in the concrete jungle.

Overview

There is a ton of action and violence, but it does a good job at not crossing the line into cheesy. The characters are very real, and very vulnerable both emotionally and physically. On many occasions Murdock gets himself into a situation where this time feels like it’s going to be the last time. He might crawl his way out of a tough spot, but the show makes sure that he has to claw and scratch for every inch. There is no cavalry, no backup, no lucky breaks. Nothing comes easy, which makes the show that much more suspenseful and dramatic.

The settings are real. The acting and character portrayal is believable. The drama is relatable. The action is grounded. The show doesn’t gloss over any detail, grand or minute. Most importantly the show is honest.

My Take

15 minutes into the pilot episode I knew this show was right up my Hell’s Kitchen alley. I thought it would be good, but I didn’t think it would be this good. If you’ve read any of my reviews, you know that when it comes to my taste, the grittier the better.

Daredevil exists in the MCU, but it could very well exist in the same world as Sons of Anarchy or Law and Order – two other shows I enjoyed. This show stands on its’ own two feet, and doesn’t need to use the rest of the Marvel universe as a crutch. Fans who haven’t seen all the other movies or shows can appreciate being able to dive into a new show without being totally lost. I will without a doubt be watching and highly anticipating season 2 of Daredevil when it comes out. If you want a Disney quality TV show without the Disney movie rating, then this show is for you. I love the action, I love the violence, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I give this show a 9 out 10.

Culture, Review, TV Shows

CW’s Arrow is Batman

March 22, 2015 Andrew Leave a comment

I started watching the CW show Arrow during season 3, several years after it debuted in 2012. From the start I thought it looked interesting but thought it might have been a spin-off of Smallville, a show which was way too campy for my taste.

After having finished up Orange is the New Black, I needed another show to binge watch and stumbled on this. Despite the Abercrombie and Fitch advertisement, this show is actually pretty cool and fun to watch, and it has a fairly dark tone to it at times, which I appreciate in show about a guy who hunts down criminals at night.

Episode after episode I watched and watched. Season 1 done, Season 2, gone, I love that dang show, it’s almost like I’ve seen it before…. It’s because I have. As awesome as this show is, it’s a total knock off of Batman. Given, the Green Arrow/Oliver Queen and Batman/Bruce Wayne actually do live in the same fictional universe in the DC comics, and have shared the pages before, the writers at CW really took some liberties with the show.

Arrow isn’t so much a show about Green Arrow, as much as it is a show about Batman that they call and dressed up to be like Green Arrow. Instead of Gotham City, it takes place in Star City, and instead of Bruce Wayne, it’s about Oliver Queen. Beyond that, Arrow is the story of Batman.

The Plot

The Arrow show seems to have taken the last 30 years of Batman lore from Frank Miller to Christopher Nolan to New 52, tossed it all in a blender, baked it in the oven, and stamped a green arrow on it.

In the Nolan series, Bruce Wayne spends years away from his home town in the seedier places of the world, gets martial arts training, comes back home, assumes control of his family’s business and birthright, and driven by the death of a parent, takes on a secret identity as a crime fighter. Our hero’s first major costumed exploit is stopping a former friend and colleague turned villain from using WMD’s to destroy his city. The villain is defeated, but massive damage has already been inflicted on the city, and the hero spends the duration of his costumed career dealing with the aftermath.

That was the premise for Batman Begins.

That was also the premise for Arrow.

The City

Gotham City and Star City, completely different right? Wrong. Both are wrought with corruption and crime, and both seem to have geographically isolated neighborhood where the poor and disenfranchised live in seemingly third-world conditions. In Batman Begins, this part of Gotham is called The Narrows. In Arrow, it’s called The Glades.

Just as Wayne Enterprises is the economic heart and soul of Gotham, Queen Consolidated is for Star City, and the respective families are well known, and tantamount to local royalty.

The Drugs

Throughout the series a recurring villain has been Count Vertigo. Completely changed from his comic book character, the series adaptation couldn’t be any more of an obvious knock off of Cillian Murphy’s portrayal of Scarecrow/Jonathan Crane in the Nolan Batman series. A physically un-intimidating character who uses his advanced knowledge of the mind and bio-pharmaceuticals to create a toxin that invokes fear in those exposed to it.

In one episode, our hero is exposed to the poison just like in Batman Begins, and his helpful sidekick must come up with an antidote before the effects become permanent.

Later on, the recreational drug is weaponized, and part of a plot to terrorize the city.

Oh, and in the end, each villain gets a ‘taste of their own medicine’ and become completely incapacitated as a result.

The Villains

Superman has Lex Luthor. Captain America has Red Skull. Every hero has their arch nemesis. The Arrow writers have ransacked the Batman archives and used a lot of his common villains. Okay – I’ll concede I’m exaggerating – they haven’t used any household Batman villains like The Joker, Penguin, Riddler, Two Face, or Bane, but they have used plenty others, such as Ra’s al Ghul, Slade Wilson/Deathstroke, Dollmaker, Lester Buchinsky/The Electrocutioner, The Royal Flush Gang, and Deadshot. These characters might be the second-stringers of Batman’s villainous lineup, but they are Bat’s nonetheless.

The Head of the Demon

And finally, as of season 3, the single biggest Batman rip off has been the usage of Ra’s al Ghul. Most people will remember Ra’s al Ghul from the Christopher Nolan trilogy, played by Liam Neeson.

What you might not know is that this character is very entangled in the Batman mythos. Ra’s has a love-hate relationship with Batman. On one hand, Ra’s is a villain and kills people, yada yada. But on the other hand Ra’s is also the grandfather of Bruce Wayne’s son, Damian. Say whhaaaatttt? Yeah, Ra’s’ daughter Talia knocked boots with Batman and had a little bat baby.

Where it becomes interesting is that in spite of the fact that Batman always thwarts Ras al Ghul’s efforts to destroy Gotham or the world, Ra’s al Ghul greatly admires Batman, and insists – er, demands – that Batman marry his daughter and succeed him as the next leader of the League of Assassins.

This story was almost copied pound for pound in Arrow, Season 3, Episode 19 The Offer, in which Ra’s al Ghul spares Queen’s life, and asks him to take over the throne.

My biggest quarrel with this is that it pretty much seals the deal in terms of CW ever mixing the Arrow-Flash-Universe with Batman. With the last episode, the CW writers stopped beating around the bush, and pretty much shown down there ever being a chance of Batman being introduced to the show – which is a damn shame.

That being said, Arrow is still an incredibly fun show to watch, and I am super excited for next week’s episode where Suicide Squad and The Atom are officially revealed. If you like what Marvel is doing with their shared universe (the MCU), then you’ll get a kick out of watching Arrow and Flash on CW.

Culture, Life, Pop Culture, Society, Technology

Generation Complication: Play

March 21, 2015 Andrew Leave a comment

Work is important, and so is play. Often times it feels like even leisure activities manage to become a new source of stress and complexity.

In this post I’m not referring to large scale or important events like traveling overseas, weddings, graduations, funerals, and so on. These all do require massive planning, coordination, reservations, and cost sharing.

Don’t Make Fun Events Stressful

In short, don’t make otherwise fun events, stressful ones.

Growing up, my parents would make me and my siblings all wear matching outfits and pose for our annual Christmas photo. There was always a rush to get dressed, a rush to the photographer, a lot of yelling, a lot of tension, a lot of my sister and me getting grounded for – gasp – not having authentic smiles.

Then stress would manage to sneak itself into the holidays themselves. Every year without fail my siblings and I were rushed to open our parents presents, then immediately whisked off to Grandma 1’s house, and then plucked out and flung over to Grandma 2. There was never any breathing room and the experience sucked the life out of the fun.

Traffic accidents, funerals, IRS audits, cancer in the family, and Piers Morgan evoke negative emotions, and rightfully so. But not everything needs to be a stress fest.

Your family’s annual Christmas photos should not be stressful. Christmas and Thanksgiving should not be stressful. A trip to Disneyland should not be stressful. A vacation should not be stressful. Camping, road trips, beach trips, going to the movies, parties and casual get-togethers should not be stressful.

If you’re stressing out over something that’s supposed to be fun, you’re doing it wrong.

Don’t Over Plan

I’ve witnessed people of all walks turn leisure activities into stressful activities, and simple days at the beach into overcomplicated logistical nightmares.

As a kid in the 90’s I didn’t have a cell phone or social media account, but miraculously I was somehow able to hang out with my friends after school, on weekends, and during the holiday breaks between semesters.

My mom did have a cell phone, but not everyone did. And before texting was popular and Facebook was even a whisper, somehow her and all her friends and relatives managed to coordinate parties just fine, without the endless game of ping pong that we now call planning a party.

These days, planning a party or social outing requires no less than 87 text messages, satellite imagery, and four carrier pigeons. Where are we meeting? Can we move it back? Whose car are we taking? Who’s driving? Who’s coming? Where are you parking? What are you bringing?

Having fun yet? Remember, keep it simple, stupid.

You Only Need One Chief

Democracy sucks sometimes, especially when it comes to festivities. A lot of people like to weigh in or change something about an event for no other reason than they get to feel like they were in control. If you schedule something for Saturday they’ll ask to move it to Sunday. You schedule it for 2pm, they’ll insist it get pushed to 4. You plan on everyone meeting at your house, they want to get picked up. You already have a static plan in place, but they insisting on altering it in some way. There are always going to be people who attempt to swim against the tide. Don’t let them steer you off course.

I remember the good old days when planning went like this “This is the time. This is the place. We’ll find out who’s coming when we get there. I’m leaving my place at 11 if you want to hitch a ride. Hope to see you Saturday! Oh, and bring some friends!”

Don’t be uncompromising where it’s easy and convenient. 15 minutes here or there won’t kill you. But once the original planner is feeling like this is no longer what they wanted to do, it’s gone too far. Pick one chief to lead all the Indians.

Hosting Simply

When it comes to hosting a party, especially at home, here’s a simple tip. More is better. Expecting 10 people? Prepare for 20. People may bring a friend, or at the very least an empty stomach. My mom and dad are notorious for running out of red wine at their house parties and I always get stuck on a liquor run. You’d figure after all these years they’d learn we have a family of alcoholics and simply double down in the wine department.

When you throw a party don’t be conservative. Expect to throw down some mullah and don’t expect to make it back. You wanna be the host with the most? It’ll cost ya.

When hosting events, Costco is your best friend.

If someone’s friend or significant other decides to tag along, it shouldn’t throw a major wrench into your perfectly planned watermelon-slices-to-people-ratio.

Besides, if you over purchase anything, there’s no reason you can’t eat hotdogs, artichoke dip, and red wine for the next two weeks. The meal of champions!

Attending Simply

Bringing a little something to take the pressure off the host is always appreciated. Of course what you bring depends on the nature of the party, and if you’re sticking around or simply poking your head in for a quick visit to show face.

Attend Simply — Someone invite this guy to the party!

Whatever it is you bring, make sure it fits the party. Go with the flow and bring something that would please the crowd. If you aren’t sure just call ahead of time and ask what the host is running low on. For summer parties you can never go wrong with beer, ice, and chips.

Don’t be RSVP Hell-bent

This isn’t me saying that people should never expect others to RSVP. Sometimes there is a place for it, sometimes it really doesn’t matter, so pick your battles.

In my humble opinion, people are too RSVP oriented nowadays. This means that with any social gathering, regardless of the cost, scheduling involved, nature, formality, or urgency of the event, they fully expect everyone to affirmatively say “Yes, I am going.” Or “No, I am not going”. The days of “Hey we’re throwing a party, hope you can make it!” seem to be long gone.

It used to be this is what we’re doing, when we’re doing it, and whoever shows up shows up. These days you have some party planner up your ass and around the corner “Are you coming? Well are you?! LMK! Did you RSVP? Did you get my evite?! LMK ASAP!” As if your attendance will make or break the plan.

If someone can’t make it or doesn’t show up, miss them, but don’t harass them. There will always be a next time, and it’s not worth souring friendships over party attendance.

Business and Finance, Culture, Life, Society

Generation Complication: Work

March 21, 2015 Andrew Leave a comment

Through experiences with friends, high school, college, jobs, more jobs, and a career, I’ve learned some valuable things. Have you heard of Keep It Simple Stupid, or KISS? Simplicity truly is king, and it’s been lost on this generation. In this two part post, I’ll go over simplicity in Work, and in Play.

Work

I remember in college my friends and I had visions of grandeur. Every juicy idea we had was the big one, the idea that would turn us all into multimillionaires overnight and before we knew it we’d be throwing Gatsby style parties and posing for the cover of Forbes. We’d talk about going international, but would always gloss over the parts about going local. We praised all these bells and whistles our company would offer alongside our flagship product. Unfortunately those bells and whistles didn’t yet have a bike.

Before you set out to conquer the world, conquer your neighborhood. Whatever it is you or your business does, whether it’s brewing beer, grilling burgers, or producing cars, come up with a money maker or winning strategy, lock it down, and hone it in.

Americans are raised being told “you can be whatever you want when you grow up” and while that’s not patently untrue, it should be amended to “it’s possible to be whatever you want when you grow up, and it’s going to take some time”. This cliché reassurance parents give their children has resulted in many young adults believing that all they need to do is throw themselves into the wind, and success will simply follow.

The 9^th Symphony wasn’t Beethoven’s first and only draft. There was the iPod before there was ever an iPod 2, 3, 4 or 5 – and it sucked. But it sold. But what did Beethoven and Steve Jobs have in common? They were both willing to put their nose to the grinding stone.

Your first restaurant’s menu won’t be a mile long. Your first invention won’t have a million features. And that’s fine! The big players in any industry didn’t spring up overnight. The good stuff takes time. It requires practice, experience, trial and error, success and failure. Allow yourself to be small and nimble in the beginning of any new venture. This gives you more agility and flexibility when it comes to reacting to unexpected situations or a changing market.

Don’t worry if your product only comes in two colors. Sell a few, save up, regroup, and when you are able to, come up with a bitchin’ third color.

So whether you are an entrepreneur or work for the man, expect to struggle for a little while you find your bearing. We don’t live in a vacuum, so be prepared to put in your dues and work well with others, as well as learn from them.

Keeping it simple is a good idea. But first, try starting simple and see how that goes.

Firearms, Movies, Review

John Wick: Movie Review

March 10, 2015 Andrew 3 Comments

If you’re like me, you saw the commercials for 2014’s John Wick and thought “dang that looks kind of cool” and naturally never got around to seeing it. Maybe it’s because I don’t have TV service and therefore live under a rock, but I don’t recall much advertising. It got added to my mental “to watch list” and I forgot about it until I saw it at the local Red Box the other day when I ended up renting No Good Deed.

Well the very next day Good Deed was back in the box and $1.50 later I was on my way home with John Wick in my left hand, Major’s leash in the right hand.

In the Bourne series, Matt Damon introduced the world to hurting people with seemingly harmless objects, like ballpoint pens, books, and towels, as seen here.

In the Taken series, Liam Neeson introduced us to the art of finding people, punching them in the throat 18 times, and then killing them.

Well get ready for a movie that will show you a whole new, awesome way of kicking ass as Keanu Reeves tears through New York City’s underbelly with new and innovative ways to use a pistol! I figured Shoot ‘Em Up had covered every conceivable way to use a pistol but that movie was straight up cheesy.

john-wick-pistol — John Wick with a pistol.

Keanu Reeves as John Wick is a legitimately awesome and intimidating character. Reeves is dry as ever, what else would you expect. But he’s dusted off the Matrix and was able to also portray a man who is funny, caring, angry, and grieving. Rounding out the cast are Alfie Allen, Willem Dafoe, Dean Winters (the Allstate mayhem guy), Adrianne Palicki, and for just a brief moment Ian McShane and John Leguizamo.

The movie itself had the tone of Constantine, with elements of Taken and Boondock Saints all sort of hodgepodged together, with a dash of Sin City. When it comes to my personal taste in movies, the darker and grittier, the better. If it’s not rated R, it’s not worth watching.

In a nutshell Reeves plays a retired assassin who traded in his career for a white picket fence. Shortly after his wife dies (of natural causes) he crosses paths with the guy who got his dick cut off from Game of Thrones, and he descends back into his former life of violence and confronts the local Russian mafia head on in a fight to the death. Russians make such good villains, don’t they?

john-wick-shotgun — John Wick with a the Kel-Tec KSG shotgun.

The movie had a ton of violence but it was tastefully done, and wasn’t just thrown in there to fill time. The movie also had a sense of humor. It wasn’t the laugh out loud type of comedy, but there are plenty of instances that have you chuckling to yourself muttering “that’s classic!”

There isn’t much to say of the movie in terms of story. I wouldn’t give it an A for originality, but despite the over done former-badass-becomes-badass-again storyline, they managed to squeeze water out of rocks and make a genuinely entertaining movie that doesn’t feel like all the others.

john-wick-church — John Wick with the venerable AR15, in evil matte black guise.

To be honest, at first I thought it was going to be one of those flicks that looked cool in the trailers but where the movie itself would utterly disappoint. Sort of like the entire X Men series.

Truth is I was utterly mistaken. If you like action movies or crime dramas, then you have got to see John Wick! And if you’re done thawing out from the winter you can waddle your way over to the local Red Box and get a copy. You won’t be disappointed!

I would absolutely see this movie again. I give John Wick an 8/10.

Movies, Review

Focus Movie Review

February 27, 2015 Andrew Leave a comment

On Monday evening I had the pleasure of attending a pre-screening of Focus, the new Will Smith movie entering theaters today, February 27. Thank you to Brett and Adriana for gifting us your tickets, we had a blast!

I’ve been a longtime fan of Will Smith, after all, the guy has saved the world six times by my count. But some of his recent movies have been incredibly underwhelming, to downright horrible.

Take for example the 2013 film After Earth, where Will and his son Jayden spoke with some amalgamation of random accents from around the world, botched to the point that no one in the audience actually knew what their characters said in the entire movie.

His cameo in Anchorman 2 was…. well…. the second Anchorman. And Winter’s Tale, wait, what movie?

Truth be told Will Smith hasn’t made a good movie since 2008’s Hancock, so I was very curious, and anxious to see Focus, a movie which has enjoyed practically no advertising campaign.

And the verdict? Not only was Focus not crappy, it wasn’t even mediocre. It wasn’t even enjoyable. It was damn good. In my opinion, Focus has officially resuscitated Will Smith’s acting career, and proved to audiences that he still has it. It? It. That it, that thing, that one of a kind je ne sais quoi that we have all grown to love about Will Smith. That charismatic, smooth talking, sharp thinking, always charming Will Smith that can steal the show without ever picking up a gun, or even cursing for that matter.

Okay Andrew, we got it. You liked the movie. Now what the heck is this movie even about?

What? The name Focus isn’t obvious enough to you? Just kidding! The title has practically nothing to do with the movie aside from one line in the movie with no relevance. But it’s quick and catchy. “Hey, you guys wanna see the movie Focus this weekend?” See, catchy.

Don’t worry, no spoiler alerts. If I had to sum it up, Focus was a combination of Hitch, Italian Job, and Ocean’s Eleven, and naturally Smith’s character is a mashup of Hitch, and Mark Whalberg and George Clooney’s characters in those respective flicks.

Gettin' jiggy with it. — Gettin’ jiggy with it.

Smith plays Nicky, a professional con artist and thief. But don’t worry, he’s super lovable and you’d be honored to be pick pocketed by him at the Del Mar Fair. Focus is one of those root-for-the-criminal movies, but don’t worry, there’s an actual villain so it’s excusable.

Fellow actors and actresses Margot Robbie, Rodrigo Santoro, and BD Wong have short lived but memorable roles in the movie. Unlike most movies, Focus doesn’t really focus on anything. From the onset there is no big goal, no overarching story, no antagonist that continuously drives the story forward. But in spite of all that, the movie does move forward, and quickly at that.

What movie is complete without cleavage?

The movie begins when Smith and Robbie’s characters have a (not so) chance encounter at a bar. One thing leads to another, and someone has a gun in their face. But the mood quickly deescalates and you hit the ground running with equal doses of comedy, emotion, and drama. You’ll even be biting your nails during some scenes.

Whether you are looking for a couples’ movie, a girls night out, or a guys night out, or if you’re one of those people who go to the movies alone, this movie will not disappoint.

I highly recommend you see Focus, and bring some company because you’re going to want to talk about it on the drive home!

Was it enjoyable? Yes it was. I was laughing, I was writhing with suspense. The movie had that good old 90’s and 2000’s Will Smith fresh prince attitude to it! The acting was great, and the story was believable. I give this movie a B+.

Did it deliver what it advertised? I didn’t see too many advertisements for this movie in all honesty, but whether it did deliver nonetheless.

Would I see it again? I don’t know if I would buy it, but I would definitely Red Box it, and will make sure to watch it as soon as it becomes available on Netflix. It would make a good stocking stuffer this Christmas. You won’t hear me say this often, but I would actually be interested in a higher stakes Focus sequel, as this movie has some upwards potential.

Culture, Pop Culture, Religion, Society

Happy Thor’s Day

February 5, 2015 Andrew 1 Comment

In the last couple years Americans seemed to have caught on to the fact that Thursday means – or at least sounds like – Thor’s Day. In fact it does stem from Thor’s Day but Thursday is not a one off in that it is not the only day of the week that gets its’ English name from the Nordic mythos.

It might come as a surprise to many people out there that in the English language, all the days of the week are named after a deity or thing of worship, and their roots date back to Nordic and Greek paganism/mythology.

Here is some interesting stuff you may not know about the days of the week.

Sunday

The first one is quick and easy. This one should come as no surprise to anyone, but Sunday actually means Sun Day, or day of the sun. At least in English. On to the next day.

Monday

If the first one was the day of the sun… wait for it. Monday comes from Moon Day! This is also the same in Spanish – Lunes – and several other Latin languages. Even the Germans call it Montag.

Tuesday

Tyr got a day of the week and Loki got didn't? I call bullshit. — Tyr got a day of the week and Loki didn’t? Ain’t that a bitch?

Okay, let’s get on to the interesting stuff. Tuesday through Friday all get their names from the Norse calendar, so what the heck does Tuesday mean? Tuesday comes from Teiw’s Day, which comes from Tyr’s Day. And just who is Tyr? The history is sketchy and often contradictory, but the popular consensus is Tyr was Thor’s brother. Nudge, nudge, Marvel! I hear a sequel coming on.

Wednesday

Moving on through the Norse pantheon we arrive at Wedne. Wait huh? All those Scandinavian languages are weird. I’ll cut to the chase here, but Wedn actually comes from Odin. Odin -> Woden -> Wedn. Aside from the d and the n, this one seems like a bit of a stretch but you gotta trust me on this. Or visit Wikipedia.

Odin banishes thou from Asgard for saying Happy Humpday!

Thursday

Come on. The name of the blog didn’t give this one away? Thursday means Thor’s Day. Next!

Friday

If Wednesday was the day of Thor’s dad, then Friday ought to be the day of Thor’s mom, right? We’ll like it or not, it is. Friday actually comes from Frigg’s Day. Most Germanic languages also reference Frigg in some way or another in Friday, whereas most Latin languages have dubbed Friday after Venus.

Thor's mom has got it going on. And did you see how she was kicking that Dark Elf's ass? — Thor’s mom has got it going on. And did you see how she was kicking that Dark Elf’s ass?

Saturday

And which one of Thor’s relatives is Saturday named after? None actually.

What gives? Saturday was the ancient Norse equivalent of their sabbath, or day of rest, just like in Judaism. As such, they never actually named Saturday. In the absence of a name for this day of the week, most cultures veered towards naming it after the Greek deity Cronos, or as the Romans called him, Saturn (better known as Zeus’ dad). Thus Saturday means Saturn’s Day.

But let’s get back to whole sabbath thing for a second. Native Spanish speakers actually gloss over this one quite often just because it’s their primary language, but the Spanish word for Saturday is Sabado, which actually means sabbath. Cool huh?

Cool Theory, But No

One idea that I tossed around once was that the seven days of the week were literally named after their respective number of the week, assuming the week started with Monday. It goes like this.

Mon = One
Tues = Two
Wed = Three (somehow)
Thur = Fhur = Four
Fri = Five
Sat = Six
Sun = Seven

Of course this isn’t the case, but the lining up of the letters and how the first syllables sound is a very interesting coincidence? Or is it?

Interesting Facts

A lunar cycle is about 28 days, and a week is 7 days, so a week is essentially a lunar cycle broken into quarters. Why did almost every culture around the world (on all continents) decide that a repeating week schedule ought to be 7 days, vs say 14? I don’t know, but it is interesting that there are some common threads in the way the days of the week are named, whether they are Latin, Germanic, Indo-European, Indian, or even East Asian.

The common naming convention is that Monday and Sunday are almost always named after the moon and sun, respectively, regardless of where in the world you are. Tuesday through Saturday are named after the five planets in our solar system visible to the naked eye. That’s understandable, but the weird part is they are all named backasswards in the same random order.

From the Sun outward, the first five non-Earth planets are in a different order than the days of the week.

Mercury – Wednesday
Venus – Friday
Mars – Tuesday
Jupiter – Thursday
Saturn – Saturday

Now I damn well better hear everyone saying Happy Odin’s Day from now on!

Home and Living, Technology

Fun with Lawnmowers

January 18, 2015 Andrew Leave a comment

I’ve been undergoing some major home improvements for the last year and a huge part of that includes yard and lawn work. In that time I have become overly acquainted with my lawnmower. No, I haven’t lost a fight with my lawnmower. At least not in the sense that I’m missing any fingers.

I won’t make this post an essay, but here are a few pointers, things I’ve learned, and pitfalls to avoid if you find yourself taking on homeowner responsibilities.

Don’t Pour Too Much Oil

If you pour too much oil into your car, it’ll simply overflow and leave a nice black puddle on your drive way and you’ll immediately know you messed up. Lawnmowers in all their wisdom were not designed this way. With a 2-stroke lawnmower it is possible to pour in too much oil and not know it.

What will happen is your lawn mower will run just fine, but spit out a huge cloud of black smoke until it burns through all the excess oil. Then my – er, your annoying neighbors will call the fire department.

Check your manual for the right amount of oil to use. If your borrowing a friends mower like I was, start with about 6 oz and continue to replace the oil as you use it up.

But if you do over pour…

If you over pour, the obvious solution is to drain out the excess oil. Easier said that done. Most lawnmowers’ oil pans do not have drain plugs on the bottom. do not turn the lawnmower upside down. This will get oil in components of the engine or carburetor and the mower will not run properly if it runs at all.

Instead, siphon the oil out. Elevate the lawnmower. If you don’t have a table or work bench, just use a few paint cans or two tool boxes like I did.

Old gasoline in the tank

If you mow your lawn frequently and cycle through gasoline on a regular basis then you can probably skip this section.

In my case, I ripped out all my old grass, did some home renovation, and about a year later started a new lawn, so I didn’t need to mow for a while. In that time the gasoline leftover in my lawnmower’s tank started to degrade.

When I attempted to mow my lawn the other morning the mower would start up like a champ, run for a few sections, and then die. What the hell, indeed. Carburetor issues aside, your gas is probably old and needs to be replaced.

Luckily draining your gasoline isn’t a pain in the ass. If your mower doesn’t have an actual drain plug, it probably has an exposed gas line. Just unplug one end and drain it in to another container. This old gasoline is bad for your mower, but probably won’t hurt if you pour it into your car’s gas tank, according to Briggs and Stratton.

Old gasoline in the fuel line

Congratulations, you just drained all the stale gasoline and put in some nice, new good stuff. Pull that cord and …. Same old. Your mower starts up, roars for a second, then dies again. What’s the deal Andrew?

You still have still got stale gas in your fuel lines.

You know that little red button on the bottom of your lawn mower that’s fun to push? That’s called your primer and it manually introduces more fuel into your carburetor. You need to flush that old fuel out of your lines. Only problem is your mower won’t stay on long enough to accomplish this.

Here’s what you need to do. As soon as you pull the cord on your mower and it starts roaring, hit the priming button every time your engine starts to sputter. This will keep the engine going. What you’re doing is forcing the gas out of your fuel line and into the engine. LISTEN. Every so often give the primer a rest, and see if the engine is able to run on its own. After 30-60 seconds, you will have burned through all the old gas in your lines, and you should be good to go.

Spark Plugs

Changing spark plugs on your lawnmower is much easier than doing it on your car, and cheaper, as most mowers only have one or two. If your mower is running but doesn’t sound too healthy or the exhaust smells horrible, you probably need to clean, re-gap, or replace your spark plugs.

Sometimes fuel deposits and oil can gunk up your spark plugs and they simply need to be cleaned so they can make a good spark.

If you examine the spark plug and it appears to be clean, make sure it’s actually sparking. Again, refer to Briggs and Stratton.

Lastly, you may simply need to re-gap your spark plugs. This happens on cars too. Check your manual for the proper ‘gappage’ as I call it. You’ll need a gap gauge to properly do this. They cost $5 at the auto shop.

Clear your lawn

Clear your lawn of anything that might get flicked up by the lawnmower, such as rocks, golf balls, Legos, etc. These things can cause some serious damage to people, pets, cars, or windows. In fact, just to be safe, might I recommend parking your car in the garage or a couple doors down for the next hour?

It also wouldn’t be very much fun if your dog got to the lawn before you did. Make sure to scour the lawn with a shovel and bucket, or you’ll find yourself in a shitty situation.

Alright, that’s it for now. Have fun and get mowin’!