All posts by Andrew

Business Communication Part 1 – Phone Communication

October 4, 2014 Andrew Leave a comment

I can go on for days about communication, so rather than turning this into an essay, I’ve broken this into a series of blog posts.

As part of my job, I do a lot of communicating with a very wide and diverse group of people. Some are starving college students, others are multimillionaires. Men and women, young and old, tech savvy and old school, married and single, blue collar and white collar, domestic and foreign born, first time homeowners and real estate tycoons, and everything in between. Over the years and with my experiences I’ve learned quite a bit about the dos and don’ts of business communication – what works, and what doesn’t.

This advice is not your typical “their vs they’re”, “are vs our”, “to, too, and two” spiel you can find anywhere. Assuming you are already literate, here is some communication advice you can actually take advantage of. Despite my intro, not all of this is not strictly business communication advice, but advice that will prove useful in any context.

For Part 1, the you need only relearn your ABCs, and your 123’s.

Relearn your ABC’s.

“B like Boy, A as in…. Apple, N like Nancy, C like….. ummm….. Cat?” If this sounds like you spelling out “Bancroft Street” to a stranger over the phone, then you are putting yourself and others through a lot of unnecessary trouble.

Every day I hear my clients struggle with reading off VIN numbers to me over the phone.

It’s about time you learned and memorized the US Military Phonetic Alphabet, also known as the NATO Phonetic Alphabet. This handy system will save you time and embarrassment when spouting off an endless series of letters. The system was specifically designed so that when reading off letters over radio transmission, it is easy to distinguish between one letter and another.

"Oscar Mike Golf! That was hilarious Sarge!" — “Oscar Mike Golf! That was hilarious Sarge!”

Military Phonetic Alphabet

The list is as follows.

Alpha
Bravo
Charlie
Delta
Echo
Foxtrot
Golf
Hotel
India
Juliet
Kilo
Lima
Mike
November
Oscar
Papa
Quebec
Romeo
Sierra
Tango
Uniform
Victor
Whiskey
X-Ray
Yankee
Zulu

When it comes in handy:

Driver’s License Numbers
Vehicle Identification Numbers (VIN)
Hard to spell names
Hard to spell street names
Policy numbers
Anything where you’re spelling out a word with tons of letters.
A surefire way to garner respect from military clients and peers.

A is not for Apple. From now on, it’s Alpha. Familiar yourself with all 26 letters and practice them regularly. Memorize it. Learn it. Love it.

Relearn your 123’s

Another task I do daily is collect phone numbers, street addresses, and credit card numbers. Believe it or not, there are right and wrong ways to do this.

I doubt you’re pronouncing the numbers wrong, but you could be reading them aloud the wrong way.

Do Re Mi... ABC... 123... Baby, you and me! — Do Re Mi… ABC… 123… Baby, you and me!

Credit Cards

Credit cards are conveniently broken down into four groups of four digits, with the exception of American Express. When reading your credit card to someone over the phone, make sure to read the numbers the way they are commonly displayed:

For example: 1234 pause 5678 pause 1234 pause 5678. American express displays their numbers in groups other than four. In this case, try to break them into groups of 4 anyways.

Phone Numbers

Another big one I noticed people botch often is reading off phone numbers. First of all, always read the area code. Never assume the other person knows the area code. More and more, even “small towns” have multiple area codes as populations swell. San Diego County for example has three area codes, 619, 858, and 760. Los Angeles probably has twice that.

Second, remember that people write slower than you can talk. So when reading off a number of any kind, make sure to sllllooooowwww down. The pauses let the person listening to you catch up, so they don’t have to ask you to repeat yourself.

Third, just like with credit cards, read phone numbers the way they are commonly displayed. For example: 619 pause 555 pause 6789.

Numbers In General

Do not use the letter “O” for the number “0” (zero). This can be especially confusing for alphanumeric chains where either a letter or number can possibly be correct, such as an account number or email address.

Read each individual digit. Do not combine digits to make larger numbers.

For example:

The chain “7-8-5-2” should be read “seven-eight-five-two”.

The chain “7-8-5-2” should NOT be read “seventy eight-fifty two” because this can then be misinterpreted as 70-8-50-2.

Regardless of what the number is, try to break down long chains of characters into groups of four, and pause between each group, just like you would with a credit card. This makes it easier for the person on the other end.

Conclusion

That’s it. Relearn your ABCs and your 123s. If you can do that, you’ll make life easier for yourself and anyone you communicate with over the phone.

Business and Finance, Politics, Society

You’re Worth What You Can Get

September 20, 2014 Andrew Leave a comment

If you know me, or have argued with me online, you ought to know that I’m a fiscally conservative dude. People hear “conservative” and they imagine Scrooge McDuck hoarding and counting his endless piles of money while Little Timmy freezes and starves to death outside. The truth is that being a “fiscal conservative” only means that you don’t play fast and loose with your money. You avoid impulse buys, and put more consideration into purchases and decisions that might affect your financial situation. You don’t spend money on a whim. It also does not mean that you are rich.

All of that needed to be said and for good reason. I’m not a huge fan of new regulations to drastically raise the minimum wage. But no,it’s not because I’m evil.

While many people who are against raising the minimum wage claim that “Burger flippers aren’t for $X per hour! This is outrageous!”, my stance is very different. I think you’re worth whatever you can persuade someone to pay you.

If Joe Teenager can convince his manager to pay him $50 an hour to flip burgers, then by all means I support it and applaud it. Sincerely. The key word here though, is “convince”.

I don’t like the idea of strong arming someone into paying you more, especially when your employment there is voluntary.

All transactions should be mutually agreed upon by both parties; the buyer and the seller. Imagine you’re selling you car and someone offers you far less than you’re willing to sell it for. You have the right to not sell it. Employment is no different. As an employee, you are selling your services in exchange for an income, or benefits, insurance, etc. The employee naturally wants to maximize his income, and the employer naturally wants to minimize his payroll, but unless both parties can reach an agreement, there should be no transaction. Forcing a wage on your employer is no different than forcing your neighbor to buy your car for more than he’s willing to pay for it, simple as that.

The gut-counter-reactions to this might be “But people need a job to live!” True. you may need a job, but don’t forget that businesses are not in the business of hiring people that need jobs. They’re in the business of making money. Whether you need a job or higher pay is not the business’ concern – it’s yours.

Before you sharpen your pitchforks, hear me out. Just because I’m against raising the minimum wage does not mean I’m against higher pay. Just because I’m against rape, doesn’t mean I’m against sex. Just so long as each is consensual.

I don’t mind people getting paid more. I don’t mind burger flippers getting paid more. I try to avoid Walmart which pays a “starving wage”. I frequent businesses like Costco and In-N-Out which voluntarily pay well above minimum wage. I also tip well (when deserved). I vote with my wallet. I encourage everyone to vote with theirs. If enough people do it, it could cause some shifts.

Who works minimum wage though? Who should be? Lower paying jobs are usually entry level positions that don’t require much experience or a heavy hitting résumé. Ideally, they are for teens and young adults looking to gain experience and build their résumé in order to advance to a better job.

Entry level jobs are self explanatory. They are jobs for people entering the work force. By their nature, they are meant to be short lived. You get one, grow, learn, and move on to the next level, and the next person takes your place. It’s kind of like kindergarten. They can support a lone wolf, but probably aren’t suited for supporting a wolf pack. So teens be warned! Having kids on a McDonald’s paycheck is probably not a great idea.

Here’s where “fiscal conservative” finally comes into play. Making more money is one thing. Making decisions that result in less expenses is another. People need to think of life in terms of finances. the car you drive, the neighborhood you live in, the clothes you wear, and even when and how many kids you have are all financial decisions.

Would you buy a car if you couldn’t afford the payments?

Would you buy a home if you couldn’t afford the mortgage?

Would you buy a puppy if you couldn’t afford the food?

If no, then you shouldn’t have a baby unless you can afford to raise it. Again, simple as that.

Actual ad from a NYC teen parents awareness campaign.

Simple as this is. Straight forward as this is. No-nonsense as this, a lot of people hear that and are offended. They’re repulsed at the idea of children being a financial decision instead of a “life decision”.

What many fail to realize is that almost every decision is a financial decision, or at the very least will result in a different financial outcome. Life isn’t free, and so long as that’s true, life decisions are financial decisions.

That’s a whole other conversation and blog post, so let me stop there. Steering this all back on track, the point to all this is simple, so let me wrap this up.

Minimum wage jobs are meant for teens and people with few obligations – not for families.

Instead of regulating businesses to take care of people, people should regulate their own actions to better take care of themselves. If you’re 40 with three kids and on minimum wage, you *probably* made some poor choices, even if it was simple having more kids than you could afford. If you meant to have one child and ended up with triplets, then clearly you’re an exception to the rule.

No matter how old or young you are, if you’re in the work force or entering soon, always be improving yourself and making yourself more commercially valuable.

If you’re a voter, vote with your wallets before you rush to the ballots.

If you’re an employer who can afford to do so, try to help your staff out a little bit. Generosity goes a long way, and happy employees work better.

No matter who you are, remember that every decision is a financial decision, whether you life it or not.

All transactions should be mutually agreed upon by both parties.

Finally, you’re not worth what you think you are. In fact, you’re not worth what others think you are. You’re worth whatever you can convince someone else to give you.

Business and Finance, Politics, Society

Is Where You Choose to Live an Entitlement?

September 12, 2014 Andrew 7 Comments

My interest has been piqued lately by a resurgence of the wage debate. Unions and labor forces across the U.S. have been staging protests over how much fast food workers should be paid per hour. This wage debate is nothing new. It’s been going on for years, decades, even centuries. See the French Revolution. In the U.S. this debate seems to flare up every couple years, and not coincidentally before election season.

A friend of mine recently posted on a link on Facebook about a recent San Diego fast food workers’ protest, which prompted a quick and furious online argument on his wall about the issue. But I am not here today to talk politics, or weigh in on this issue.

What caught my attention was that in the midst of all the arguing, my friend made a peripheral point that if people cannot afford to live on their current wage, that there are a number of solutions to their problem. If they cannot increase their wage, they can decrease their expenses, proposing that they move to an area with a lower cost of living. Mind you, this protest took place and my friend and I live in San Diego, California, so that narrows down the list of “Cheaper Places to Live” to practically everywhere else on the planet.

He was instantly hit with backlash. A friend of his shot back at him with, verbatim, “wait, living in San Diego is a privilege? that’s fucking ridiculous – if you were born there or your parents just ended up there before you, yanno, grew up, that’s a privilege, and you should move?”

I didn’t reply. But my answer to him is “Uh, yeah dude.”

He asked the question as if the rhetorical answer was “Well, um gee, when you phrase it that way, no I guess not.” But the answer is apologetically YES, YOU SHOULD MOVE.

This guy’s thesis is: Once you are born somewhere, living there indefinitely is a RIGHT, not a privilege.

Which is total bullshit, and let me break down why. I won’t use numbers and figures and charts and stats. Let’s break this down using real world practicality.

Personal Experience

I for one have always wanted to live by the beach. The cool weather, the quick job to the beach, the smell of ocean, the drunk college kids puking on my front lawn. Okay, aside from that last part, I’ve always wanted to live by the beach, but I couldn’t because it just wasn’t practical. Okay, you only live once, blah blah. But at the end of the day, paying an extra $200 per month on rent just wasn’t financially practical in my college years. By the age of 24 I had already learned that living where-ever-the-heck-I-want is not a right, was is in fact a privilege.

Micro Level

On a very micro-level, every responsible person chooses where they do and don’t live, based on what is financially feasible. If you have ever been on the market for a new home, and been hunting for the right house with a real estate agent, you know what I mean. One house is perfect. Maybe it has the big garage you’ve always wanted, it’s got a great view of the canyon, a pool, it’s in a good school district, or maybe it’s a 5-mile commute from your office. But reality kicks in. “Honey I’m sorry, it’s just out of our price range.”

Macro Level

Now, shit’s about to get real. Show of hands, whose ancestors were born in the US? Most of our relatives at some point or another migrated here from abroad. Every year thousands of people leave their countries and migrate to the United States to call this country their new home. Some come from as close as Mexico like my grandparents did. Some come from as far as Russia, Asian, Africa, and the Middle East. Why do you suppose this is?

Entitled people who refused to leave their home town. (Sarcasm)

I don’t suppose they moved here because they thought the U.S. would offer them a worse life. They moved here because they thought they had more opportunity, could get better pay, land a better job, go to school, send their kids to school, or maybe avoid ethnic persecution. Whatever the reason, they all have something in common: They moved from A to B, because they thought it would bring them a better life.

These people quit their jobs, packed their bags, uprooted their families, moved thousands of miles, across oceans towards a new country, said goodbye to friends, relatives, neighbors, and their homeland, all of whom they’ll probably never see again, all for the shot at a better life. Some of these people cross treacherous deserts and risk death to illegally get hear, which albeit illegal still shows guts, determination, and sacrifice.

These immigrants can do all this, and yet some entitled U.S. born assholes still think living in San Diego, or this city or that city, is a right? Some people still think moving 300 miles out of state, or just to another city with a lower cost of living is unconscionable?

Excuse my French, but that, oh friend of a friend, is in fact fucking ridiculous.

Pop Culture, Society

The Ice Bucket Challenge

August 23, 2014 Andrew Leave a comment

It has been a volatile past couple of weeks on social media lately, with the Israel-Gaza conflict and the Ferguson Missouri shooting. Oddly enough though, my casual observations have led me to believe that the hottest button issue on the web right now, is the Ice Bucket Challenge.

For those of you who have been living under a rock, the Ice Bucket Challenge is a social media meme in which you video tape yourself dumping a bucket of ice-water on yourself. Then, in your video, you challenge three other people to either do the same thing, or donate money to a charity. The charity being linked to the Ice Bucket Challenge is ALS Association, with the purpose of funding research to find a cure for ALS, more commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. This may not be 100% spot on, but this is the gist of it.

I’m not going to rip on the Ice Bucket Challenge, or start condemning the people who oppose it for water conservation reasons. What fascinates me is how worked up everyone has got about this issue, regardless of their stance on the subject. What seems like such a seemingly benign and oh-so-typically-cliché internet meme has turned out to be anything but cliché. The amount of hype surrounding this issue, and the amount of tension and heated arguments arising out of it are astonishing. There are several warring factions.

Faction 1: The Water Whiners

When the Ice Bucket Challenge first started, it was most popular on the East Coast and in the South. As it spread across the US, it finally made its’ way to the West coast, and more specifically California which is going through a huge drought at the moment. This prompted some people to rally against Californians doing the Ice Bucket Challenge as it was considered a waste of water at a time when our water supply was already dangerously low. These people weren’t necessarily against fundraising or spreading awareness about ALS, but against the wasting of the water.

Faction 2: The Three Bucketeers

This resulted in backlash from people who support the Ice Bucket Challenge, and dispel the water-related criticisms as baseless. Their counter argument is that compared to the amount of water people waste every day showering, cleaning dishes, watering lawns, or washing cars, the one-time use of 2-3 gallons of water is a drop in the bucket, no pun intended. This group will provide you with an onslaught of news articles and Wikipedia links confirming the Ice Bucket Challenge is the brainchild of Jesus and Gandhi’s joint efforts to stop the apocalypse.

Faction 3: The Like Bucket Challenge

Then of course you have the politically untangled. For this group, it’s not about finding a cure for ALS or conserving water. Their goal however is to spread awareness… of themselves. These attention whores will accept your challenge if it means they don’t have to donate anything. But they will altruistically donate a video of themselves to the internet. Just don’t forget to ‘Like’ their video, or they’ll keep re-posting it. You’re welcome, Facebook.

Faction 4: The Cheapskates

Probably notorious bad tippers amongst friends and family, this faction just didn’t want to donate, so they did the Ice Bucket Challenge instead.

This is a very simplified overview of the situation, and I will simplify things even more. Regardless of what your stance is on the “issue”, let us please get a few things straight:

Is the Ice Bucket Challenge a waste of perfectly good water? Yeah, if you’re in California.

Is it a huge waste of water and worth worrying about? No, it’s pretty harmless.

Is the Ice Bucket Challenge raising awareness about ALS? Yes.

Could the Ice Bucket Challenge be considered a success, in that it raised a ton of money that will go towards research for an ALS cure? Absolutely. This years’ donations have dwarfed previous years contributions.

So despite the waste of water, was it worth it? I’d say so.

Are tons of people using the Ice Bucket Challenge because they are attention whores looking to get shares and likes on social media websites? Duh.

So the truth is that no one is really wrong. It could be considered a waste of water, but the vast majority of people seem to be okay with wasting a liiiitttle bit of water because hey, it’s for a good cause. Find me a fundraiser that didn’t chop down a tree or two printing out fliers for their latest canned-goods drive. Find me a marathon that didn’t litter the host city’s streets in Dixie cups, PowerBar wrappers and human excrement. No, seriously. Find me a Raiders game where a fan of the opposing team didn’t get stabbed in the parking lot.

Basically, we’re all willing to trash things up a little bit if we feel that the net outcome is for a good cause.

Congrats to the ALS Association for raising a ton of money, and let’s hope that it is money well spent. Cheers to the people who donated money to ALS or other notable causes. A pat on the back to people who legitimately did the Ice Bucket Challenge to spread awareness of ALS. Thank you, to the conservationists for spreading awareness of another legitimate concern. And to attention whores who did it just for five minutes of fame, may your Ice Bucket Challenge whorish ways get you pneumonia.

Business Reviews, Review

Discount Gun Mart – Santee, CA

August 16, 2014 Andrew Leave a comment

San Diego shooters may know that DGM is a chain. From what I gather from other shooters and friends, the location in Mission Bay/Bay Ho is notorious for horrible customer service. In the dozen times I’ve been there, I never once found a polite employee.

BUT, the Santee location is excellent. I have been to this location about 5-6 times now, including a recent firearms purchase, and every time the staff was spot on.

Here are some highlights:

They almost always answer the phone during operating hours.
And when they can’t answer, they actually check their messages and call you back, or at least they did with me.
They greet customers when they walk in the door, and if they are busy helping someone, they still acknowledge you.
They are quick, and respect your time.
They are very polite.
They are not condescending when asking about a firearm you are unfamiliar with, which for most gun ranges can be their customer service Achilles heel.
Usually a short line for the range, from my experience.

Indoor Shooting Range Targets, not from Discount Gun Mart

Nothing bad to say about this location at all. Heck, it’s even directly off the freeway exit, making it easy to get to.

Their range prices are great. Much better than P2K.
Their ammo and firearm prices are market competitive. YES, you can purchase a super expensive $2,200 Sig .308, or a $1,200 Leopold scope, but these are the prices you would pay anywhere, so that does NOT earn it a $$$$ establishment, in my opinion.

Star Rating: 5/5

Cost Rating: $$

Society

Why the World Cares About America

August 10, 2014 Andrew 1 Comment

You read the title and I already know what you’re thinking. “Oh please! The world doesn’t care about America! How self-important! You’re so Americanly vain for even thinking that!” But hear me out for a second.

How many times have you heard people complain about the following:

“Why doesn’t America use the metric system like everyone else?”

“Why don’t Americans like football (soccer) like everyone else?”

“Why don’t more Americans listen to EDM like everyone else?”

“Why don’t American men wear capris like everyone else?”

Yes, the world does care about America.

You especially hear this from Europeans. For a group of people that seemingly don’t like America, they sure spend a hell of a lot of time talking about everything American. They talk about how we don’t play the right sports, don’t eat the right foods, don’t listen to the right music, don’t wear the right clothes, don’t use the right rulers, or drink the right beer.

You’re probably nodding your head in understanding. As an American, or anyone, you’ve no doubt heard these common complaints about the US.

For you nay-sayers out there thinking “That doesn’t mean the rest of the world cares about America. We just think what they do is stupid.”…. Really? Really?

Remember that one kid in grade school you never talked to and didn’t care about? Remember you cared so little about what he did that you questioned and griped about his hobbies and interests? No? Me neither.

The truth is that people don’t talk about things they don’t care about. We don’t complain about things we don’t care about. We don’t try to convince someone that they enjoy the wrong sport, if we aren’t at least remotely concerned about their opinion.

The world does care. In fact, everyone else seems to care a lot about what Americans do and don’t do, what Americans like and don’t like.

But Americans on the other hand, don’t care what the world does.

Now think about how often you hear Americans complain that the rest of the world does like soccer? Close to never? Maybe I’m alone here, but in my 27 years of life as an American, with all my American friends, American TV shows, American news channels, and American movies, I’ve never once heard an American question or complain about why the world loves soccer. Why should we? We love football, they love soccer. Who cares if Germany or Brazil loves soccer? Good for them I guess. They found something they like, and we found something we like. All is well in the universe.

For the most part, Americans legitimately don’t give a crap what the rest of the world does or doesn’t do, likes or doesn’t like. We don’t care what you eat, where you live, what your rules are, that you don’t like guns, that your gas is so expensive, or that your cars are so small. We really don’t care.

It used to perplex me why everyone else cares so much, but I think I figured it out.

The world cares the America doesn’t care.

There seems to be a huge emphasis on the notion that Americans ought to be more like everyone else. Since we’re not like everyone else, were often viewed as being isolationists.

And that is the next big epiphany I had. The rest of the world cares that we don’t care. The world cares that Americans don’t mind not being like everyone else. The world cares that Americans march to the beat of their own drum. The rest of the world gets upset when we don’t show up to their party, because we’re having so much damn fun at our own party.

Americans don’t mind being different. Americans don’t mind foregoing otherwise unanimously celebrated events. Americans espouse “American Exceptionalism”. The world calls the United States isolationists because of this, despite our huge global presence. We don’t care, and we’re fine with that, and it bugs the shit out of everyone else. We make music that goes platinum, movies that are block busters, awesome TV shows, businesses that churn profit, Olympians that bring home the gold, and astronauts that land on the moon.

In conclusion….

This leads me to my final realization. The rest of the world wishes they were as culturally independent as we are. They hate that they drive American cars, watch American movies, listen to American music on American technology, eat at American food establishments, and speak the American language. They hate that our presence is so prevalent in their country, when their presence is so muted in ours.

When people around the world gripe about America’s preferences and culture, their complaints are not really that they that wish we were more like them. It’s that they wish they were more like us.

Movies

Guradians of the Galaxy: Movie Review

August 3, 2014 Andrew Leave a comment

Guardians was one of my most anticipated movies EVER, so it goes without saying that this has also been one of my most anticipated movie reviews. The drive home after the movies on Friday night had me all amped and excited, as I endlessly regaled my favorite quotes and characters from the film.

It’s important that I start my review by making something very clear, Guardians of the Galaxy absolutely kicked ass. Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest. But seriously, it was an amazing movie and so entertaining I don’t even know where to begin my review.

Marvel wasted no time at all jumping into the movie. There was a super brief yet emotional “origin story” at the beginning where you get a little history about movie front runner Peter Quill, AKA Star Lord. After that the movie is a non-stop sprint to the finish line.

10 minutes into the movie I was sold. The opening scene from the trailers with Chris Pratt and Djimon Hounsou was hilarious, action packed, an 80’s flash back, and probably had PETA shitting bricks.

Marvel managed to do in one film with Guardians, what it took them 6 movies to do with the Avengers ensemble. Guardians Director James Gunn did a phenomenal job getting audiences to fall in love with and root for a bunch of characters they had never even heard of before, in the span of just two hours without it feeling rushed.

Whereas 2012’s Avengers could have plausibly been titled “IRON MAN! …and his friends too”, Guardians does a much better job balancing the roles so that no character drowns out the other.

We have Peter Quill, AKA Star Lord. An 80’s American born kid who was abducted by aliens and spends the rest of his life wandering the galaxy as a thief. His only remaining earthly possessions are a Sony Walkman (remember those?) and a mix tape (or those?!) of songs his mom made him. Those songs, artfully chosen, provide the soundtrack for the entire movie. Quill clearly mastered the American art of bull-shitting, which proves to be an invaluable skillset in outer space. Chris Pratt did an amazing job bringing this no-name character to life on the big screen. In fact he did such a good job that he out Iron Man’s Iron Man, and when the Avengers and Guardians finally collide in theaters, Peter Quill is going to be more than a match for Tony Stark. Audiences will find him much more likable too as his character is so humble and down-to-earth.

Next we have the femme fatale Gamora. Zoe Saldana loves to play aqua-colored vixens, but she plays them amazingly well! Gamora is an assassin turned good, whose inside knowledge of the threats to the universe make her a pivotal character in movie. Her backstory is bloody and regrettable. She is fierce, cunning, beautiful, and incredibly lethal. She is this ensembles direct response to Black Widow.

Drax the Destroyer, played by David Bautista

Then we have Drax the Destroyer, another aqua colored badass in the film and played by David Bautista. This physically intimidating character is on a vengeful killing rampage across the galaxy after his family was killed by movie villain Ronan the Accuser. He comes from a race of aliens whose language and communication style does not lend itself to metaphor, idioms, or innuendo. Most jokes go right over his head, but as Drax would correct you “Nothing goes over my head! My reflexes are too fast. I will seize it.” Huge, green-ish, and not a big talker, Drax is the Guardian’s equivalent of the Hulk.

Rocket Raccoon, voiced by Bradley Cooper, and Groot, voiced by Vin Diesel

Where do I even start with Rocket? Put frankly, Rocket is foul-mouthed, bi-pedal, incredibly intelligent raccoon that has no clue he’s a raccoon, or for that matter what a raccoon even is. He was experimented on and genetically altered, making him the way he is. Perfectly voiced by Bradley Cooper, he’s rude, insensitive, and had me dying of laughter the entire movie. His backstory is also very tragic, making that a common theme amongst the movies characters. Underneath his insecurities, Rocket the bounty hunting critter has a ton of heart, and is my favorite character in the movie.

Lastly, we have Groot, voiced by Vin Diesel. Groot, the walking and occasionally talking tree alien was one of my favorites. He is Rocket’s body guard and companion as a bounty hunter. Despite his very limited vocabulary, Groot proves that when it comes to communication, it’s all about quality, not quantity. If you asked me to explain exactly why Groot is so cool and invaluable to the movie, I couldn’t give you an answer. But I promise you he is. (My mom asserts it’s because Groot’s limited vocabulary reminds me of my dad. Hardy har har, mom.) Groot isn’t chatty, fast, or oozing with intelligence, but he is emotional, caring, and extremely protective. Groot is also the dessert of the movie, and Marvel saved the best for last. You’ll have to see the movie to know what I’m talking about.

I was laughing, I was cheering, I was screaming, and I was clapping. The crowd in my theater clapped on four occasions throughout the movie. If this movie doesn’t have you rooting for the good guys, you have no heart. If it doesn’t have you dancing to the Jackson 5, you have no soul. And if it doesn’t have you cramping from laughter, you have no sense of humor. Bring the wife, bring the kids, and hope they don’t learn any new words. This action packed, star spanning movie breathes new life into the Marvel Cinematic Universe and will have you begging for more. Avengers, look out! Here come the Guardians of the Galaxy!

Was it enjoyable? YES! I’ll just come out and say that Guardians of the Galaxy was twice as good as the Avengers. It had more action that action movies, more adventure than adventure movies, and way more laughs than dedicated comedies. On top of that, the movie had one thing Avengers sorely lacked: Heart. For enjoyability, I give Guardians of the Galaxy an A+.

Did it deliver what it advertised? Yes and much, much more. I was expecting a B movie with a Disney financed A movie advertising budget. I was quickly corrected. This movie is the movie you’ve been waiting for. A+.

Would I see it again? I plan on seeing Guardians at least once more in theaters and have every intention of purchasing the Blu Ray when it comes out on release, hopefully by Christmas.

Movies

The Galactic Challenge: Marvel’s Gaurdians of the Galaxy

August 1, 2014 Andrew Leave a comment

If you are planning on going to the movies this weekend, one candidate that has probably caught your attention is Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy.

Guardians is bringing some heavy hitters to the plate, including: Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper, Djimon Hounsou, Glenn Close, John C. Reilly, Dave Bautista, and Benicio Del Toro.

I, for one, am super excited to see Guardians of the Galaxy this weekend. In fact, its August 1^st release date this Friday has been on my calendar since it was first announced in 2013. I’ve been a huge fan of the Marvel movies so far, specifically the Marvel Cinematic Universe, or MCU for short.

Why is Guardians of the Galaxy such a big deal? At first glance, this movie appears to be nothing more than a one-off, family friendly space bound action movie that Marvel is pitching to milk audiences during the one year lull between Captain American: Winter Soldier and Avengers: Age of Ultron coming out May 2015.

If you thought that, then you’d be dead on. Except for the first part, Guardians of the Galaxy is not a one-off movie at all. For those of you going “huh?”, gather ‘round the camp fire children.

What makes GOTG such a big deal is that this is the first new Marvel franchise to be introduced to the MCU since Captain America in 2011. Still confused?

Fine, I’ll spoil it. Marvel plans on merging Guardians of the Galaxy with the Avengers! That’s right. We can expect to eventually see Iron Man, Hulk, Thor, and Captain America share the silver screen with the Guardians in the same movie. Is that epic or what? Amazingly enough, only fan boys and comic-con aficionados seem to have caught on to this.

Are you thinking “So what?” Okay, let me back track a little. It was a big deal when Marvel slipped audiences a bunch of Easter eggs, dropping a bunch of cross-movie hints in each of the phase 1 movies.

It was an even bigger deal when Marvel finally combined the four movie franchises into the Avengers (2012).

Marvel continued to pick up the pace with Iron Man, Thor and Captain America sequels.

Now, Marvel intends to mix a fifth ingredient into their tried and tested, beloved recipe. Will the new concoction have audiences drooling for seconds and a doggy-bag, or have them saying “too much salt” ?

And that is why Guardians of the Galaxy is such a big deal. Marvel is using Guardians as a litmus test for other movies they hope to produce. Not only will a good reception to Guardians affect its own sequel, it will affect the direction Marvel takes for the Avengers, and whether or not they decide to release other comic book characters like Dr. Strange, Blank Panther and Ant Man.

Are audiences going to welcome a new comer, or are they content with the Big 4?

We’ll find out tomorrow when Guardians of the Galaxy opens in theaters nationwide. My bet is Marvel has done their homework. After all, Marvel has movies planned all the way to 2028. No, that wasn’t a typo. 14 years from now, kids that aren’t even born then are going to be enjoying Marvel movies in theaters.

Keep posted! I will be in line to see Guardians opening day, and posting my review shortly after!

Movies, Pop Culture

The Purge: Anarchy: Movie review

July 28, 2014 Andrew 1 Comment

After 90 minutes at the drive in, I made it through Lucy. After a quick run to the restroom, I was back in my car and ready for the second feature of the night, The Purge: Anarchy.

Being that The Purge: Anarchy is a sequel, I didn’t set my hopes too high, but I was still plenty excited about it since I enjoyed the first one, and was curious to see how they were to going to take the premise of the 2013 film and build on it.

From the commotion on the grapevine – or lack thereof – The Purge (2013) didn’t do so well financially or with the critics. I didn’t hear any smack talking, but I also didn’t hear of anyone talking it up or rushing out to see it. I enjoyed the first film nonetheless, and took it for the movie it was.

Purgers and Hunters, from "The Purge: Anarchy" (2014) — Purgers and Hunters, from “The Purge: Anarchy” (2014)

For those who haven’t see either, The Purge and The Purge: Anarchy take place in the not so distant future, in the years 2022 and 2023, respectively. The U.S. is governed by “The New Founding Fathers” and every year starting on March 21, all crime is completely legal* (including theft, rape, and murder) for 12 hours (7PM March 21^st – 7AM March 22^nd). There are a few exceptions however, such as not being allowed to use anything over a “Class 4” weapon, which isn’t defined. The big exception is that it is still illegal to target certain government officials. Bullshit, right? This period of lawlessness is called the purge.

In this world, crime, unemployment, and other societal ills have dropped to astonishingly low levels, by U.S. standards. In The Purge (2013), it’s generally accepted that the purge is creditable for these changes. The argument in the first installation is: Do the ends justify the means? Is it worth it? Is letting people take out their aggression on others without reprimand acceptable?

Purging sacrifice, “The Purge: Anarchy” (2014)

In The Purge: Anarchy, the moral quagmire is that the purge isn’t just the government’s way of letting people blow off steam, but that it is in fact designed to reduce the population of people society deems undesirable. Those who are weak and defenseless, the poor, the sick, the elderly, and anyone else unable to defend themselves during the 12 hour onslaught make easy pickings for the hordes of “purgers”. The rich, with their fortress style mansions (explained in the 2013 film), and private security, are practically untouchable. Naturally, government officials (class 10 or higher) have exempted themselves from the annual purge.

The Anarchy touches up on issues of class warfare, racism, greed, genocide, and a plethora of other issues and cleverly dresses them up as an action/suspense movie.

Audiences probably noticed there was no Ethan Hawk in this movie. It was a sequel, but the film centers around an entirely new lineup of cast and characters. It takes places a year after the first events. Whereas the first movie took place in white bread Suburbia, Anarchy takes place in a completely difference setting: Urban America.

I knew nothing of the cast before I watched the film. Once the movie picked up the pace, I immediately recognized Frank Grillo (Captain America: Winter Soldier, Prison Break). Grillo does an amazing job playing a grieving father whose son was killed, who is looking to enact his revenge on the night of the purge. He carries most of the major action scenes and shoot outs, and keeps the story grounded.

Frank Grillo in "The Purge: Anarchy" (2014) — Frank Grillo in “The Purge: Anarchy” (2014)

There is a couple on the edge of divorce that gets stranded in the middle of the city shortly before the beginning of the purge. Call me paranoid, but if I lived in this world, I probably wouldn’t leave my house on March 21, and if I did it’s because I was hundreds of miles in the middle of nowhere in a bunker, and armed to the teeth – or in Canada.

We also have a mother and daughter. The mother is harmless, and hardworking to support her family. Her daughter, despite having good intentions and probably being the most morally incorruptible of the cast, had me shouting “Shut the fuck up!” every couple minutes throughout the entire movie. Luckily you can scream out loud when you’re in your own car.

All said and done, it was definitely an entertaining, nail biting, thought provoking, and worthwhile film. Anarchy was to The Purge, as Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones was to the prior Paranormal films in the franchise. Each of the latest incarnations taking on more of an urban, gritty tone.

Was it enjoyable? Absolutely. Not only was it as good as the first movie, but it was better and very different. Will The Purge franchise turn into the next Saw or Paranormal Activity, where audiences can expect a new sequel every year? Will the studio use the backdrop of the annual purge to address other societal concern and controversial issues? For enjoyability, I give this movie a solid A.

Did it deliver what it advertised? The trailers were a little misleading, and omitted a lot of the finer points of the movie. Did it deliver as advertised? Yes, it did, and much more. Again, Anarchy gets an A.

Would I see it again? I might buy the DVD, but not the Bluray. Given the chance I would definitely watch this movie again, and would gladly welcome a third installment.

Movies, Pop Culture

Lucy: Movie Review

July 27, 2014 Andrew Leave a comment

Disclaimer: Being as this is my first movie review here, I’ll give a quick disclaimer. I’ve read some pretty nasty movie reviews from professional critics. They can really tear into a movie, even pretty decent movies. They can give a movie a piss poor rating simply because they disagree with it, not because it was a bad movie. So here’s what’s important for me: Was the movie enjoyable? Did the movie deliver what it advertised? Would I see it again in theaters and/or would I buy the DVD?

I caught this movie Saturday night, on July 26, 2014 at the Santee Drive in Theater. With the windshield nice and clean, and some sour licorice, I was ready to rock n’ roll for the first movie of our double feature (with the second title being: “The Purge: Anarchy”)

With Scarlett Johansson and Morgan Freeman as front runners, you’ve got some wind in your sails. We’re about to see two A list actors who’ve dominated the silver screen in their respective Marvel and DC movies in the past several years.

As you could have taken away from the trailer, “Lucy” is about a girl Lucy, played by Scarlet Johansson, who through a series of unfortunate events has a bag of mysterious substance sewn into her belly by criminals bent on smuggling them to be used as the next hardcore party drug. Misfortune befalls her again, and the substance leaks into her body, transforming her into something special. The movie circles around the idea of what would happen if humans could utilize more or all of our brain’s capacity, and what that entails.

Right from the get go the movie smells a lot like “Limitless”, in that a hapless person finds themselves mixed up with seedy people, and a man-made substance intended to be used as an illicit street drug ends up turning the protagonist into a quantum computerized UFC fighter.

Limitless seems much more plausible, in that by using more of our brain, or using our brain more efficiently, we can retain and recall more knowledge, and better utilize it. We could also better hone and take advantage of our senses, detecting things we would have otherwise ignored, all the while still functionally and personally remaining human.

Lucy takes this a step further, proposing that if we could use more of our brain, in addition to all of the above, we would develop all new senses, and a plethora of new abilities, including but not limited to telepathy, telekinesis, time travel, and much, much more.

Scene of Lucy altering digital data — Universal Studio’s “Lucy” 2014

There wasn’t really an antagonist. Early in the movie the title character proved that she is more than capable of taking care of herself, even when severely outnumbered against hardened bad guys. Because of this, it’s like watching a kid who is stepping on ants, and expecting you to root against the helpless ants. When the main character is virtually unstoppable, it takes some of the fun out of it. This is even explicitly mentioned in the movie, when a secondary character aiding Lucy states that he is useless to her, and that she should continue without him.

It has enough cool Jason Bourne-esque fight scenes, shoots outs, car chases, and multi-lingual prowess to keep you entertained, even if the story itself doesn’t do the job. Johansson plays her script well, though her character is robotic and hard to cozy up next to. Thankfully Morgan Freeman’s character was present, and lent some much needed humanity and morality to the movie.

Essentially the movie boils down to do the idea that if you ingest enough blue Jell-O you will not only be able to utilize 100% of your brain, but also become omnipotent and devoid of emotion.

Was it enjoyable? Not really. As stated, the only enjoyable parts were the action sequences, which would be served better by a dedicated action movie. For enjoyment factor, I give this movie a B-.

Did it deliver what it advertised? Absolutely. A sci-fi movie about people using 100% of their brains is what they put down, and what the viewer picks up. In this regards, Lucy gets an A.

Would I buy the DVD? No. Straight up no. I probably wouldn’t bother watching it on Netflix either.

Can You Believe That Guy?!