Tag Archives: attention whore

The New Whores of the 21st Century

Long gone are the days of Sodom and Gomorrah. You pedal your ass on the street corner and still call yourself a whore? That is so 1990’s. No, no, no. I’m not talking about actual whores / prostitutes / hookers. Whores have evolved since then. In fact, the word “whore” no longer exclusively refers to someone who sells sexual favors for money. In today’s common usage, a whore can be anyone who over indulges in something – usually something incredibly annoying. It can also mean women or men. Let me now introduce you to the new whores of the 21st Century!

Selfie Whore

The term Selfie didn’t exist last century. In fact, it was first coined in 2005, making it less than a decade old at the time of this writing. But despite selfies being so young, they have gained tons of popularity and notoriety in the “social media” world.

Now, don’t confuse a selfie with a self-portrait, as there is a huge difference. Self-portraits have been around for centuries, are tasteful, and are intended to accurately depict what’s going on. Selfies are more of a disease, in which the selfie taker feels the compulsion to take pictures of themselves from exaggerated angles and lighting, in weird or inappropriate places, poised with stupid faces, to deceive the viewer of said selfie. They also look incredibly ridiculous while attempting to take the selfie.

Just take this girl for example.

Instagram Whores

When selfie whores graduate, they rank up to become full on Instagram Whores. Why stop at taking photos of yourself, when you can take photos of absolutely everything?! Duck faces and bathroom shots are so amateur. Instagram whores have mastered the craft of taking photos of their legs, their food, their pregnant belly, the sky, and their friends’ shoes in a circle.

Remember when you’d go to Disneyland with your friends, and there would be an Asian tourist aiming their camera directly at the ground, taking a photo of the asphalt? And you would ponder to yourself “What the fuck are they taking a picture of?” We’ll fear not, because taking pictures of dumb shit has officially become the cultural norm.

Man photgraphing the ground
I’m getting the angle juuuuuuusssstttt right.

I think The Oatmeal described it best, with this list of 7 things you really don’t need to take a photo of.

Filter Whores

An off shoot of the Instagram Whore is the notorious Filter Whore. As if taking pictures of dumb shit wasn’t enough, these people have to lie about the dumb shit they are taking photos of by applying wanna-be Photoshop filters on every photo they take.

Another recent phenomenon is the use of the hashtag #nofilter. I find this particularly interesting, because people feel the need to clarify “This time, I’m not lying”. First of all, it’s interesting because most of the time people use #nofilter they are in fact still using a filter. “Oh right, I’m supposed to believe the sky is orange in your neighborhood, and over here at my house 4 miles away it’s blue.”

Beautiful sunset! #nofilter  riiiiiiiiiiigghhhhtt
Beautiful sunset! #nofilter riiiiiiiiiiigghhhhtt

I have a novel idea. How about when you don’t use a filter, you simply don’t tag your photo, and when you do use a filter, you fess up and tell everyone what filter you are using.

Hashtag Whore

That gives us a nice, smooth transition into the topic of the Hashtag Whore. Taking photos of yourself at weird angles, dumb shit, and even lying about it is not enough. No sir! The truly committed whores have also reveled in the dark arts, and learned of a new evil: The Hashtag.

Again, I’m not against hashtags. Their original function was pretty nifty, actually. By hashtagging a photo, you allow other web-goers to find similarly tagged photos and posts they may be interested in. It’s like a crowd sourced search engine. Fair enough.

But then, the true hashtag whores came out of the wood work and do this.

The most annoying couple you know
The most annoying couple you know

Attention Whore

If someone has mastered all of the above, then they are officially an Attention Whore. Attention whores engage in social media, but not to be social. Their entire existence revolves around the never ending need to seek out attention from everyone and everything by any means possible. Facebook? Sure. Instagram? Of course. Selfies? Who doesn’t! Pictures of your food? Because taste buds are so old fashioned! Filters? Reality isn’t good enough. GoPro? I’m a hero! Hashtags? The cherry on top.

Nothing is too small, stupid, or pointless to share with the world for this group. Expect pictures of everything and anything. The food, the sky, themselves, their feet, their legs, how they look in the morning, traffic conditions, their reflection, their food before they eat it, their food after they eat it, their dog, their cat, their baby, their baby bump, sunsets, and sunrises.

Attention Whore
Because what good is a picture of the beach without your feet?

Why enjoy things for the simple sake of enjoying them, when you can rub them in everyone’s face? If it exists, by golly, they’ll post that shit to Facebook and tag it to death. But fear not! If not enough people Like it, they’ll delete that shit and post it again tomorrow.

Go Fuck Your Selfie
Go Fuck Your #Selfie

 

The Ice Bucket Challenge

It has been a volatile past couple of weeks on social media lately, with the Israel-Gaza conflict and the Ferguson Missouri shooting. Oddly enough though, my casual observations have led me to believe that the hottest button issue on the web right now, is the Ice Bucket Challenge.

For those of you who have been living under a rock, the Ice Bucket Challenge is a social media meme in which you video tape yourself dumping a bucket of ice-water on yourself. Then, in your video, you challenge three other people to either do the same thing, or donate money to a charity. The charity being linked to the Ice Bucket Challenge is ALS Association, with the purpose of funding research to find a cure for ALS, more commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. This may not be 100% spot on, but this is the gist of it.

Steps of the Ice Bucket Challenge
Steps of the Ice Bucket Challenge

I’m not going to rip on the Ice Bucket Challenge, or start condemning the people who oppose it for water conservation reasons. What fascinates me is how worked up everyone has got about this issue, regardless of their stance on the subject. What seems like such a seemingly benign and oh-so-typically-cliché internet meme has turned out to be anything but cliché. The amount of hype surrounding this issue, and the amount of tension and heated arguments arising out of it are astonishing. There are several warring factions.

Faction 1: The Water Whiners

When the Ice Bucket Challenge first started, it was most popular on the East Coast and in the South. As it spread across the US, it finally made its’ way to the West coast, and more specifically California which is going through a huge drought at the moment. This prompted some people to rally against Californians doing the Ice Bucket Challenge as it was considered a waste of water at a time when our water supply was already dangerously low. These people weren’t necessarily against fundraising or spreading awareness about ALS, but against the wasting of the water.

Faction 2: The Three Bucketeers

This resulted in backlash from people who support the Ice Bucket Challenge, and dispel the water-related criticisms as baseless. Their counter argument is that compared to the amount of water people waste every day showering, cleaning dishes, watering lawns, or washing cars, the one-time use of 2-3 gallons of water is a drop in the bucket, no pun intended. This group will provide you with an onslaught of news articles and Wikipedia links confirming the Ice Bucket Challenge is the brainchild of Jesus and Gandhi’s joint efforts to stop the apocalypse.

Faction 3: The Like Bucket Challenge

Then of course you have the politically untangled. For this group, it’s not about finding a cure for ALS or conserving water. Their goal  however is to spread awareness… of themselves. These attention whores will accept your challenge if it means they don’t have to donate anything. But they will altruistically donate a video of themselves to the internet. Just don’t forget to ‘Like’ their video, or they’ll keep re-posting it. You’re welcome, Facebook.

Faction 4: The Cheapskates

Probably notorious bad tippers amongst friends and family, this faction just didn’t want to donate, so they did the Ice Bucket Challenge instead.

Skeptical Black Child on Cheapskates
Skeptical Black Child on Cheapskates

This is a very simplified overview of the situation, and I will simplify things even more. Regardless of what your stance is on the “issue”, let us please get a few things straight:

Is the Ice Bucket Challenge a waste of perfectly good water? Yeah, if you’re in California.

Is it a huge waste of water and worth worrying about? No, it’s pretty harmless.

Is the Ice Bucket Challenge raising awareness about ALS? Yes.

Could the Ice Bucket Challenge be considered a success, in that it raised a ton of money that will go towards research for an ALS cure? Absolutely. This years’ donations have dwarfed previous years contributions.

So despite the waste of water, was it worth it? I’d say so.

Are tons of people using the Ice Bucket Challenge because they are  attention whores looking to get shares and likes on social media websites? Duh.

Tara Reid getting pneumonia
Tara Reid getting pneumonia

So the truth is that no one is really wrong. It could be considered a waste of water, but the vast majority of people seem to be okay with wasting a liiiitttle bit of water because hey, it’s for a good cause. Find me a fundraiser that didn’t chop down a tree or two printing out fliers for their latest canned-goods drive. Find me a marathon that didn’t litter the host city’s streets in Dixie cups, PowerBar wrappers and human excrement. No, seriously. Find me a Raiders game where a fan of the opposing team didn’t get stabbed in the parking lot.

Basically, we’re all willing to trash things up a little bit if we feel that the net outcome is for a good cause.

Congrats to the ALS Association for raising a ton of money, and let’s hope that it is money well spent. Cheers to the people who donated money to ALS or other notable causes. A pat on the back to people who legitimately did the Ice Bucket Challenge to spread awareness of ALS. Thank you, to the conservationists for spreading awareness of another legitimate concern. And to attention whores who did it just for five minutes of fame, may your Ice Bucket Challenge whorish ways get you pneumonia.