In just about an hour we’ll get to see episode 7 of season 6 of Game of Thrones. So I will quickly get this out before then in anticipation of this evening’s episode. Just to be clear this isn’t a review, or a synopsis. This is just my thoughts on the show and season so far.
Game of Thrones is a fantastic series. No, it’ a fantastic story – that does it a little more justice. It’s been two weeks so I imagine everyone is caught up on Hodor dying and yada yada so the cat’s out of the bag on a lot of the big surprises this season like that and John Snow coming back from the dead.
Hodor is a Pokemon
I know in my heart of hearts that I was in fact the first person to state that Hodor is a Pokemon. He is Hodor, and all he says is Hodor, that makes him a pokemon. We’ll I guess a dead pokemon. Fuck you Bran! Also pokemon are Groot and Timmy from South Park. I’m actually starting to think Donald Trump might also be a pokemon. Maybe a half breed? He says his name very often. Anyways, that definitely was sad to see Hodor go and I totally blame Bran.
I Blame Bran Stark for Everything
Think about it. What was it, the pilot episode and Bran Start was climbing up the side of that turret and his mom told him “no more climbing you little shit!” and then like 20 minutes later he’s at it again where he spots the incestuous doggy style love making of Cersei and Jaime Lannister. Then he gets his dumb ass pushed out of the window which then causes his mom to go nuts and kidnap Tyrion Lannister which then gets Ned Stark stabbed in the fucking leg (and all his men murdered) and probably contributed to him getting executed, and sets off this entire domino effect that results is basically everyone dying and wars and well, this amazing series I love watching. So thanks? But then Bran goes into his little dream world and lets the white walker touch him which gets that old tree guy, the forest children gremlin girls, Hodor and his own wolf killed. Way to fucking go Bran.
Daenerys Targaryen on Repeat
I do like Daenarys, don’t get me wrong. But does anyone feel like she’s kind of the tent pole preacher of the show? You sit through this like 50 minute long mass and it’s boring and there’s a lot of mention of people walking through deserts, and then all of a sudden “PRAISE JEZUSSSSSS!!!!! our lord and savior” and the pastor like makes some disabled chick walk again or something. Well that’s kind of like Daenerys Targaryen. Absofuckingutely nothing will happen and her story arc will kinda fizzle out and she hits rock bottom and then she does this grandstand thing and everyone’s all “OMFGODZORS can you believe she just [insert random crazy thing]!?!?!” and everyone’s back on the Dany train again. That’s kinda her M.O.
Husband dies, walks into a pyre with dragon eggs, burns her enemy, comes out naked, gets followers.
Goes to Astapor, gets a bunch of unsullied, frees them, burns her enemy, unfortunately doesn’t gets naked, gets more followers.
Walks into a giant hut, sets it on fire, comes out naked, gets more followers.
It just starts to feel really repetitive.
The Religious Shit is Boring
I liked the first couple seasons when there was all the politics going on. Tyrion and Little Finger and that dude with no dick all fighting back and forth in a battle of minds and wit to see who can out maneuver the other.
Now we have like all this religious crap going on. We got these red women chicks who can’t seem to agree on which horse to back. And are they all super old ugly women? Or just the one? And then there’s the many faced god storyline with Arya which to be is actually super boring. And then there are those trees with the faces and the old dude in the tree with the roots and wait what the fuck is going on again? And oh right back in the real world we have these Sparrow nut jobs who like to lock people up and then parade them around a city to naked to get feces thrown on them and contract like hepatitis or something. The only religious aspect of this show I find remotely interesting is the drowned god and that’s because no one talks about it.
I reallllllly hope we can breeze past all this religious stuff.
Okay shit I need to go to McDonalds to get a McFlurry before the show starts so I will end this blog now and write more later. Peace! McFlurry here I come!!!