Tag Archives: Winter

Christmas in July

Here we are, almost half way through December and speeding towards Christmas. As I get older, it seems as though the holiday season gets faster and faster, and glides by so quickly that I hardly have a chance to notice it, much less enjoy it. It feels like Christmas 2014 was just a few weeks ago. And yet here I am perched at my kitchen table on December 13th at 10:25PM, writing a blog post I thought about writing back in November, and that I started and never completed writing on December 9th. Time really does fly by.

When I was a kid I used to love Christmas. That’s not to say I don’t any longer. I absolutely do. Christmas is the only holiday I like more than Halloween, especially now that I’m creeping away from my college years. But when you are a kid, you really really love Christmas. Everything about it is so magical. Everyone decorates their home and the neighborhood is lit up with Christmas lights and decorations. We bring beautiful, fresh cut, woods scented trees into our homes. An come that magical morning everyone meanders their way to the tree, surrounds by amazingly adorned boxes and ribbons. We sit around a lit fire place , drinking coffee and cocoa and spiced cider and eggnog. We sing carols. We listen to the same old Christmas songs. My favorite was always the Little Drummer Boy. In fact, listen to this beautiful rendition of it while you read this blog post, because I was listening to it while I wrote it.

When you’re a kid, Christmas truly feels like it lasts forever. And that’s because, relatively speaking, it sorta does.  When you’re 5 years old, one more year is literally an extra 20% of your total life. When you’re 29? 40? 50? One year, relative to the time you’ve lived, feels like a commercial break.

As a child I remember seeing Christmas decorations in stores earlier than normal, and thinking nothing of it. When I got older, I started really noticing. I used to think it was weird to see it before Thanksgiving, and just this year I recall seeing it as early as pre-Halloween.

I’ve always heard people gripe about how Christmas stuff comes out on shelves earlier and earlier each year. This year my first thought was to do the same thing, and gripe. But wait. Just wait…. Maybe, just maybe, this is a good thing. As a kid the holidays seem to last forever and that’s partially because we have no responsibilities. We don’t have bills or jobs, or obligations. We’re out of school for a month with nothing to do but play and have fun and soak in the holiday spirit.

We’re usually so busy making Christmas, we often forget to slow down and take the time to enjoy Christmas.

But as an adult, I do have responsibilities. A ton of them. And a demanding job, and taxes, my fair share of bills, and dozens of obligations. On top of that, we’re (adults) the ones planning events, driving, decorating, buying gifts, and coordinating these massive family events that youngins can enjoy. As adults, we’re tasked with bringing the magic, so that kids can enjoy it. There is no winter break for adults. We’re usually so busy making Christmas, we often forget to slow down and take the time to enjoy Christmas.


I am now making a deliberate effort to hit the breaks and enjoy the season. And I slowly start to realize that maybe Christmas in November, Christmas in October is a good thing because it gives us all more of an opportunity to let the holiday spirit truly sink in. In this day and age of political correctness and faith shaming, I am happy to still see Christmas large and alive this time of the year, even if in it’s corporatized, secularized manifestation. A little bit of Christmas, a plastic Christmas, is still better than no Christmas at all.  Maybe what this world needs is a little more Christmas. As I get older, and time flies faster, I welcome Christmas in July.

Maybe what this world needs is a little more Christmas. As I get older, and time flies faster, I welcome Christmas in July.

I want to thank everyone for reading this far. I want to thank all those friends and family members and absolute strangers who read my blog posts regularly, follow me, share my posts, and encourage me to keep writing.

Thank you God, for the opportunity you have given all of us, myself included.

Merry Christmas everyone. I love you all.

Merry Fucking Christmas

As everyone probably knows, my mom is Jewish. However it may come to a lot of people’s surprise that growing up, we never had a “Hanukkah Bush” or a “Hanukkah Tree”. Yeah, we had a menorah on the mantle, but every year we also went to the tree lot and decorated it and put an angel on top, and my mom insisted to everyone that our tree was in fact a Christmas tree. Even as a non-Christian she never had a problem having a Christmas tree. And why should she?

I’m not particularly religious. I do believe in God, but I’m very secular. Not being a religious person, I can see how Christianity, or at the very least, Christmas, is constantly being put on defense here in the US.

You have a couple people constantly taking jabs at Christmas.

Happy Holidays Trolls

A lot of us have been conditioned to say “Happy Holidays” because of years of indoctrination from HR and PR people at work telling us it’s no longer acceptable to say Merry Christmas. Oh, and you’re fired if you say it at the holiday party on Friday. Did you get the memo?

How do I describe that there is nothing inherently wrong with saying Happy Holidays while at the same time acknowledging that it’s bullshit we must say it to avoid “offending” some uptight, over sensitive pussies? I guess I just did.

Hulk smash people who say Merry Christmas!!!
Hulk smash people who say Merry Christmas!!!

As stated above, my mom is Jewish. I can’t remember her ever getting bent out of shape when an unsuspecting neighbor would tell her “Merry Christmas!” but a lot of people do. Who are these trolls that sit and wait for the opportunity to pounce on well-intended people who had no idea you were lurking under your dick bridge? “We’re Scientologists in the household! Raw raw raw! You should say Happy Holidays!”

Asshole Atheists

Disclaimer, I don’t think all atheists are assholes. And not all atheists do this, but the ones that do are so incredibly fucking annoying and douche baggy about it they get their whole section.

Some atheists just like to shit all over everything remotely religious, especially Christian related, and especially during the holidays.

“What’s that? Merry Christmas? Don’t shove your religion down my throat! We’ll let me regurgitate to you my pre-rehearsed diatribe about how God isn’t real and you’re an idiot. Take that Christmas!”


Side note, they only like to do this to Christians for some reason. You’ll constantly hear atheists say “Christianity is the cause of X million deaths and blah blah blah, fuck your religion” right to a Christian during Christmas, but you’ll never hear them say that shit to a Muslim about Islam during Ramadan.

Let me also offer up that not all atheists share the urge to suck the life and joy out of the holidays. My girlfriend is an atheist and she LOVES Christmas. She says “Merry Christmas!”, and writes Christmas cards, puts up Christmas lights on her Christmas tree, and buys Christmas presents for her friends and family.

Counter Culture Fucktards

These people are more annoying than asshole atheists. They probably are closet atheists and just don’t want people to know, so they disguise their anti-religious garb as being strictly anti-consumerism, which everyone knows is a façade.

Come Christmas time, these fucktards will tell you alllllll about how Christmas has been hijacked, and how all things Christmassy are actually rooted in paganism, or were invented by Hallmark, and therefore you’re not even celebrating Christmas. What’s their end game here? Are they hoping everyone is going to be all “Oh my gosh, you’re right. Fuck me. I guess I’ll mope around during the holidays and be a miserable little twat like you. Thanks for nudge!”

"Well Christ wasn't even born on December 25th, wah wah wah, boo hoo"
“Well Christ wasn’t even born on December 25th, wah wah wah, boo hoo”

Like really, who the hell cares? For fucks sake, we get it. You don’t like Christmas and you’re too much of a pussy to come out and say it, so instead you have to shit all over Christmas trees, and Santa, and Rudolph, and giving presents. You’re counter culture and annoying as shit. We got it. Go suck a dick already.


Get Over It Already

You don’t have to be a Christian to like Christmas. It’s a cool holiday! During October everyone decks their home out to look like a horror movie. In December everyone decks their home in awesome lights, snow, and furry critters. It’s like EDC for a whole month, but with hot cocoa, and without the ecstasy. People actually hold open doors and use manners, and have parties, and listen to Christmas music, and have ugly sweater competitions, and play the elephant game. Parents get to spend quality time with their kids decorating trees, and get to watch their kids eyes light up. People get to hang out with their family, and maybe enjoy that new 70 inch TV they trampled an old lady for on Black Friday. Plus, all the amazing food, and time off work/school for most of us.

If you like Christmas, keep on keeping on, and don’t feel one ounce of guilt for doing so.

If you don’t like Christmas, that’s fine, you don’t have to.

And if you like to shit all over Christmas, get a life.

Have a Merry Fucking Christmas!

ninja santa