Movies, Pop Culture, Review

Spectre: Movie Review

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The summer is over and so is the season of summer blockbusters. Between you and me, the last couple months have been a movie slump, and the last legitimately entertaining movie this year was Ant-Man. Jurassic World was mildly entertaining, and Age of Ultron was a complete let down.

But 2015 was not a complete cinematic dud. If summer of 2015 blue balled you in the action adventure department then you’ll love the 4th and latest installment of the Daniel Craig James Bond franchise. I’ve been anxiously looking forward to Craig reprising his role as the infamous 007 since the first teaser trailer came out a year ago, and after having caught an early screening on Tuesday, November 3rd, I can tell you it was well worth the wait!

We’ve seen Bond show down in a battle of wits against global money launderer, Le Chiffre, in Casino Royale. We’ve seen Bond do…. uh…. do something in South America having to do with water or oil or something, in Quantum of Solace with [enter villain here]. Then we watched Bond battle skeletons from the MI6’s deep, dark closet against the menacing Silva in Skyfall.

Now, get ready for what I consider to be the fourth, and best installment in the decade running franchise. In Spectre, super spy James Bond is caught in the crossfire when traditional espionage and intelligence gathering collides with modern day data scouring and drones. In an increasing age of terrorism and geopolitical unrest, governments around the world start to question if the world still needs traditional spies and boots on the ground, when we have drones, satellites, and wire-tapping at our disposal.

In the film, intelligence agencies from the world’s most powerful countries are called to action to combine their intelligence gathering operations and systems, to create a type of new world order of counter terrorism. When this audacious overreach is met with resistance by M, James Bond and his entire department – who are considered obsolete and antiquated – are either merged with existing departments, or are shelved entirely. Acting outside their legal jurisdictions, Bond, M, Q, and Money Penny work to stop a mysterious villain that threatens the freedom of the world, as they struggle to stay one step ahead of the enemy. Bond discovers that the person steering the course of humanity’s future may also be a shadow from his past.

Spectre was thoroughly enjoyable. Much of the plot and many of the characters may seem recycled from pervious movies, including Bond movies, because they are. But Columbia did more than rinse and repeat with old ingredients, and in my opinion managed to take kitchen scraps and turn them into an entirely new delicacy that will leave you hungry for more.

In fact, part of the appeal of Spectre is that is harkens back to the golden days of Bond. The main villain, Franz Oberhauser is a new age version of Ernst Stavro Blofeld from the original Bond films who also ran SPECTER, the same villain that Mike Meyers parodied as Dr. Evil in Austin Powers. They even went so far as to explain how this classic villain received the trademark scar across his right eye.

But the good old days villainy didn’t stop there. While Oberhauser was the brains, David Bautista was the brawn, and played the very formidable Mr. Hinx. My opinion is that Hinx is a new age version of Oddjob, a ruthless and well-dressed villain from the 1964 movie Goldfinger, who kills people by throwing a steel rimmed top hat. Mr. Hinx breathes fresh life into the role and brings a very physical, intense, unnervingly calm, and intimidating performance with him. This is the first time in the Daniel Craig franchise that James Bond was not only challenged mentally, but physically.

Daniel Craig delivers his usual and appreciated, primed and polished performance. I’ve come to appreciate his interpretation of James Bond. Spy, yes. Womanizer, yes. Fashionable, always, but still someone very much mired in tradition, and a real man’s man who is tough as nails yet still emotionally vulnerable. James Bond is anything but a new character to audiences, but just like mom’s Thanksgiving dinner, is a tried and tested recipe for success.

There are several beautiful Bond love interests in Spectre, but if one gets the title of Bond Girl, it would be Léa Seydoux. She played the character of Madeleine Swann, and as fate would have it is the daughter of a former enemy of James Bond. Personally, I wasn’t a fan. She’s young enough to be James Bond’s daughter, whined a lot, and had that prickly European demeanor. Plus, I mean come on. She’s no Eva Green.

We also got a fair amount of screen time of Ralph Fiennes and M, Ben Whishaw as Bond’s secret help and accomplice Q, Naomi Harris as the always lovable Moneypenny, Christoph Waltz as the puppet master Franz Oberhauser, and a short romance scene with the timeless beauty Monica Belluci.

Some possible SPOILER ALERTS in this next paragraph.

As I was watching Spectre, I couldn’t help but think that the movie was very similar to last year’s hit, Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

Spectre = Hydra

The first major similarity is that both movies feature a shadowy organization that is attempting to usurp an established, well intentioned intelligence gathering apparatus, in the name of sacrificing freedom for security. In Winter Solider, Hydra has infiltrated SHIELD and is trying to take it over from the inside out, and Captain America is trying to stop them. In Spectre, said organization is trying to swallow up MI5 and MI6 from the outside in, and James Bond is trying to stop them.

What’s more, is that both organizations are found to be responsible for a long series of horrible and violent events that are seemingly unrelated, with the sole purpose of creating enough chaos to get the masses to willingly give up their freedoms in return for a Big Brother type organization.

The figure heads behind each organization are both German. Red Skull / Johann Schmidt is a German Nazi, and actor Christoph Waltz from Spectre is of actual German Austrian descent.

hydra-vs-spectre

Even the respective mascots are the similar. Both Spectra and Hydra’s emblem sport a multi-tentacled creature, one being a hydralisk and the other an octopus.

Righteousness as a Relic

Captain America is commonly referred to as “a man out of time”, and his old school and righteous ways are considered antiquated. James Bond might not be as virtuous as Cap when it comes to his drinking and philandering, but’s still got a strong moral compass. Bond and his companions are referred to as antiquated, their methods outdated, and their purpose obsolete.

Ralph Fiennes’ role as M, Bond’s superior within the organization, is very similar both in function and in character to Samuel Jackson’s role as Nick Fury within SHIELD. In both movies, the director and soldier don’t see eye to eye, but when confronted with a larger moral dilemma, work together towards a common goal of restoring freedom.

I think there is an unspoken moral to this common story as well. Change is neither good nor bad. Change is simply change. Good or bad depends on the change, and how it is used. And just as you should be wary of people who adamantly oppose any kind of change, one should be equally wary of someone who blindly lambast the past, or tradition.

The story was well crafted and very neatly wrapped up a lot of loose ends, weaving together the other films since the relaunch. The acting was of course, what you would expect from such a legendary, decades spanning franchise. The romance was sprinkled on without overshadowing the main story, and Bond was very much a strong yet vulnerable character that audiences will be able to relate to. And of course, there was plenty of action to get you through the cinematic lulls. All in all, I think Spectre was a great movie on par with Casino Royal (2006). Some people might say it’s more of the same Hollywood product; car chases, martinis, womanizing, boat chases, plane chases, pretty much lots of chases,  explosions, fast cars, crazy gadgets, etc. Which is exactly what I want out of my James Bond! I found it very entertaining and will probably end up buying it on Bluray when it comes out. I give Spectre an A-.

Business and Finance, Life

My Life Insurance Experience

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It’s 5:41 in the morning and I just finished my life insurance “paramed” exam. To the uninitiated, when you take out a life insurance policy, the insurance company sends someone to meet with you, and check your health using a variety of questions, diagnostics, etc. This process is called the paramed, or para medical examination. My examiner was a nice guy named Tony, who arrived at my front door around 5:15 AM.

What to Expect

It was a pretty easy process. Here’s a quick rundown of what we did:

  • Check height
  • Check weight
  • Check blood pressure
  • Check pulse
  • Measure chest
  • Measure waist (it felt like I was being measured for a tailored suit)
  • Collect urine sample
  • Collect blood sample
  • Ask a bunch of questions about my health, medications, and the health of my blood related family members

Early Bird Special

The early bird slot wasn’t randomly assigned to me. I opted to get the early appointment for a reason. Your body isn’t as compressed in the morning as it is after a whole day of walking, running, driving, and sitting. You also usually use the facilities before going to bed. Basically, you’re taller and you weigh less, so it helps with your height to weight ratios Even if just a little, it makes you appear healthier, which can be the difference between one rate class and another, if your health is on the edge. I’m healthy as a horse according to Tony, but still, why risk it?

Also, you are usually calmer in the morning, not having endured 8 hours of stressful work, and 2 hours of stressful traffic, plus whatever other chores life throws your way. So your pulse and blood pressure will ready healthier results in the morning, than they would if you did the exam after clocking out of work, or sitting in rush hour.

Urine or You’re Out

They do require a urine sample for most life insurance paramed exams. Unless you are getting a super small $10,000 “funeral policy” as we call it, they’ll want to get some indicator of your health.

Make sure you drink water in the 4 to 8 hours leading up to your exam. If you don’t provide a urine sample then and there, they will have to reschedule the exam.

I had a problem with this part of my exam. No, no. My problem wasn’t performance related. It was actually that I had to pee really freakin’ bad, and had to hold it. Whether I wake up at 7AM, noon, or 5AM, using the john is the first part of my morning routine. My dude was running about 15 minutes late, and it had me bouncing on my tippy toes like a 6 year old waiting in like to use a porta potty.

When Tony arrived at my door I politely asked if we could do the urine part first and he obliged. I have the feeling it was not his first time being asked.

Bloody Mary

The blood part is super easy. I know a lot of people are a bit squeamish when it comes to getting their blood drawn. If you’ve ever donated blood you know that needle is the size of a 7 Eleven Slurpee straw.

The needle they use for donating blood is a 16 or 18 gauge (1.27-1.65mm outer diameter).

The needle they use for the paramed is about 21 or 22 gauge, which despite the larger number actually means it’s considerably smaller and less intrusive. It’s about 0.82mmm or 0.03 inches, smaller than most pencil lead.

Don’t worry, unlike giving blood the needle is in and out. I think it took about 15 seconds to get all the blood they needed.

I did not, to my disappointment, get a Ninja Turtle Band-Aid and a lollipop. I’m writing a stern letter to management over that one.

Ermahergd! Lerlyperps! Muh fervert!

Do Yourself a Favor

Here are some things I recommend you do to make the process of obtaining life insurance and the paramed easier for you, and get this, your kids too.

Clothing

Come prepared. Make sure that you are wearing light clothing, or easily removable clothing. Mine was at the crack of dawn, so I was still in my PJs. But remember that every ounce counts, and they don’t deduct the weight of shoes, your cellphone, etc. So make sure to empty your pockets and strip down as much as possible for your weight measurement.

Medication

If you are taking any medication, instead of making a list or stumbling to remember everything just bring all the prescription bottles with you to the exam. The examiner will make sure to notate everything for you. They’re the professional. Let them do the hard work.

Environment

Do NOT have your exam in a stressful place. So don’t have your kids running around wreaking havoc while the examiner is reading your blood pressure. It’ll mess with your results. Meet someplace private, away from stressors and distractions, and of course, some place where you can pee. So avoid the zen-filled park down the street.

Think About the Children!

I’m going to take this in a direction you probably didn’t think of. Yes, many people get life insurance to help take care of their kids in the event of the worst. But that’s not what I mean.

Many life insurance policies let you pay a little extra to add your kids on to the policy as well. So they might have a little $5,000 or $10,000 policy on them too. The benefit to this is that when your kids reach a certain age, like 18 or 25, they have the option of converting their policy to a big-boy policy like you have.

Most companies that offer this product don’t require the kids to get a paramed exam of their own. Basically, if you add your kids on to your life insurance policy, they don’t have to jump through all the hoops that you did. On top of that, they get locked into a particular health category. So if your kid started on your policy at 7 when they were super healthy, developed diabetes at age 15, and then converted to their own policy at 18, they don’t have to worry about being up-rated, because they started their life insurance when, and are being rated as if they are healthy. The only thing that they will be charged more for is aging.

I’m 99.9% certain on this, so I will make a few inquiries and find out, and retract/modify anything in this post later on if I am incorrect.

Get a Life… Insurance Policy

No seriously, you really ought to. Same thing I mentioned earlier about the kid, applies to you. A lot of people don’t even consider life insurance until too late. They think they are too young and even if they are married, if they were to die their spouse still has plenty of time to remarry, or get a job, etc.

Get a policy as soon as you can before any health conditions kick in like diabetes, high blood pressure, gout, or even an STD. Again, you’ll be locked into the risk category the policy was written at.

Plus, if you actually get a decent whole life policy there are a ton of benefits. They let you squirrel away money tax free. They have the ability to grow in value over long periods of time, especially if you have a universal or variable policy. You can borrow against your own life insurance policy if it has a built up a cash value, which pretty much acts as a miniature banking account that you can borrow from with no penalties and no obligation to ever pay it back. Many people borrow against their own life insurance policies to help their kids pay for things like their first home, or their grand-kids’ college.

Some of them kick in early if you suffer a terrible accident or are expected to die soon. For example a $500,000 policy might kick in $250,000 while the insured is still alive but are expected to not make it very long due to a medical condition. This can make the final hours much easier for the insured and their family (paying for travel expenses of family members to visit, hospice care, etc). And then the final $250,000 is paid out after departing.

And finally, many of them have Long Term Care riders built in to them. The life expectancy of Americans are getting longer and longer and more of us are expected to life into old age. To quote the Wall Street Journal, “more than 70 percent of Americans over the age of 65 will need long-term care services at some point in their lives, according to a study by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.” Sources. Individual LTC policies can be pricey, but you can save a ton by bundling it with your life insurance.

Alright, I’m done. It’s getting late – 6:38AM. So I gotta get going. But thank you for reading. I hope you learned something interesting or two and chuckled a bit. And if you are curious about life insurance and live in California, message me.

Movies, Pop Culture, Review

The Last Witch Hunter: Movie Review

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Halloween is upon us and the streets are ripe with creepy! Haunted houses, decorated front lawns, horror movie marathons, and of course scary movies! While Witch Hunter isn’t a horror film, it is a nice creepy action adventure movie.

I didn’t know a thing about Witch Hunter beforehand aside from “Oh man, this movie looks sick and has Vin Diesel in it! I want to see this!”  And basically, that sums up the movie. It’s a sick movie, and his has Vin Diesel in it.

Imagine Chronicles of Riddick, but set on earth, and with witches instead of alien necromancers, and you’re essentially got yourself The Last Witch Hunter. As unoriginal as the movie was, I still found it highly entertaining. If there is one thing Vin Diesel has always been able to do, it’s draw large audiences and I have no doubt that while this movie will not break any records, it will be successful enough to earn a sequel or two.

The movie starts centuries ago just after the black plague has swept through Europe. In the film, the plague is known to be caused by witches performing dark magic, who are trying to kill the human population an establish witch dominion over the earth. Kaulder (Diesel), and a group of soldiers head out to stop the witches before they can complete their plan of human extinction, and so so successfully. Hence you are sitting here reading this on your iPhone, you lucky bastard.

Just before Kaulder kills off the head witch, he is cursed with immortality. Over the centuries Kaulder uses this immortality (and relative invulnerability) to continue fighting, capturing or killing those who practice dark magic, which leads us to current day. 700 years have battle hardened Kaulder into a fighting machine, and his reputation proceeds him in religious and mystic circles, where he is known simply as the weapon.

Long story short, all is not well in the land, and an ancient evil has been awakened that threatens the existence of man kind, blah blah, blah, the hero comes in to the save the day and rescue the damsel in distress with the help of his butler Alfred Pennyworth, I mean Dolan, played by Michael Caine.

Like I said, the movie is intriguing but definitely not original. Nonetheless I found it very interesting. There were a lot of mentions about things like new vs. old, change vs. traditional, progressive vs. nostalgic; the usual plot devices in a story featuring  a centuries old immortal.

Vin Diesel brings his usual performance to the screen. His voice pretty much does all the acting for him. And when that falters, his machismo, athleticism, and steady hand pick up the slack.

Michael Caine pretty much plays a priest version of Alfred. Again, his usual “I feel better that a cool old wise dude is here” performance.

Elijah Wood plays Caine’s successor as Dolan 37th, and also brings his usual, pint sized, timid persona.

Lastly, we have Rose Leslie, who you might best know as the hot red head from Game of Thrones who got it on with John Snow. Her role is the most different from the one you know her best from. She doesn’t play a bad ass wildling, but she does play a determined bar owner Wiccan who really ought to invest in commercial fire insurance.  Just saying…

The movie very craft-fully took the things you like most about other movies and hodge-podged them all into a single film. Plus, it has Vin Diesel. What’s not to like?

All in all, I give Witch Hunter a D for originality, a B+ for entertainment value, and a B+ for acting.

Business and Finance, Home and Living, Movies, Politics, Review, Society

99 Homes: Movie Review

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A little late I know, but better later than never, right?

99 Houses was a very different movie from anything I have ever seen. It stars Andrew Garfield, the short lived Spider-Man star. It also stars Michael Shannon, the guy who played General Zod in Man of Steel, but you might also mention him from a dozen other works like 8 Mile, Iceman, and Boardwalk Empire.

The story is about Dennis Nash (Garfield), a young blue collar man trying to single handedly raise his son and his mom in a rough economy, in the midst of losing their home. That wasn’t a typo.  Dennis practically raises his mom, who acts more like an irresponsible 19 year old daughter who dropped out of high school and is going to a trade school, than a mother.

Nash loses his home to the bank, and his eviction is overseen by a strict, no nonsense real estate developer, Rick Carver, played perfectly by Michael Shannon.

After initially losing his home, Nash despises Carver and naturally sees him as the person responsible for his misfortune. However a chance encounter with some of Carver’s home-flipping laborers turns into small time, small paying labor jobs. In short time Dennis Nash has a lucrative career not only working for his former nemesis, but along side him.

In the trailers, Shannon’s character was portrayed as this evil, corporate, heartless business tycoon who steps on the innocent, hard working little man Dennis Nash, for his own greed. After all, that is the song being sung by almost everyone in the country these days, regardless of your political affiliation. The narrative being painted today is that homeowners are all saints who have done no wrong, and financial institutions are all secretly owned by Hitler death squads.

You definitely do sympathize with Garfield’s character. The movie pulls no punches in the heart area, when you are forced to watch this dad get kicked to his hands and knees, and struggle to support his family.

But interestingly, over the course of the movie the character I really took a liking to, was Shannon’s character Rick Carver. Yes, I liked the “bad guy” more than the “good guy”. Was the guy a stone cold hard ass? Yes. But he was also a smart, hard working son of a bitch. He was also a loving father who wanted nothing but the best for his children. But he also did everything he could to teach Nash how to earn, spend,and invest his money properly.

Without spoiling the movie too much, this is perhaps the most interesting part of the film. Despite our cultural views of bankers, businessmen, and wall street, this movie attempts to show you a different angle, and in many ways approaches a paradigm shift between the contemporary views of “good guy” and “bad guy”. In fact, I didn’t think Carver was the bad guy in the movie at all until a hiccup at the very end of the movie, but again, no spoilers here!

Our two leads did an amazing job. You forget about Garfield’s most recent web slinging hurrah and you really do see him as a father trying desperately to make ends meet for his family. His grief, his stress, and his struggles are portrayed perfectly, and you feel every ounce of emotion Garfield brings to the set.

Michael Shannon of course needs no introduction. This actor has always floated in that narrow corridor between A-list and B-list actor. He acts better than most A-list stars but just could never get the cinematic boost needed to rise into full stardom. Nonetheless, I couldn’t have thought of a better actor to take on the roll of the tough as nails Rick Carver. Shannon’s intensity, and rigidity make him a one man force of nature, and his presence on screen is heart stopping.

I highly recommend 99 Homes to anyone who wants to see a genuinely well written, well casted, well acted, and well directed movie. No negative feedback about this movie whatsoever. 5 stars.

Culture, Firearms, Politics, Religion, Society

Jews Agree with Ben Carson

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I was pretty confused when I learned that the media was making a big deal about a comment Dr. Ben Carson made recently about how the plight of the Jews would be have been more favorable, and that the Holocaust could have possibly been diminished had Jews had firearms in the 1930’s and 40’s. A lot of people are treating this as Ben Carson’s big gaffe, like it’s some foot-in-mouth comment akin to Joe Biden telling women to “just get a shotgun”.

What’s more surprising, is that people find his comment surprising. Let me explain.

I’m Jew…ish. My mom’s a Jew. I occasionally went to temple growing up. I do own a couple yamakas that I save for the occasional Passover or Yom Kippur dinner. I was raised with Jews growing up.

But then I also spent a month in Israel as part of a religious trip shortly after graduating college. While I was there I also spoke with dozens of rabbis, and rabbinic scholars. I spoke with pizza maker Jews, taxi cab driver Jews, bartender Jews, mom Jews and dad Jews. I even went to the official Holocaust Museum in Jerusalem.

Guess what. They all have guns. And they agree with Ben Carson.

Almost unanimously, Jewish people acknowledge that part of the reason why the holocaust was allowed to get as out of control as it did, was that no one did anything about it. No one slayed the holocaust in its infancy. That no one, including the Jews, opposed the Nazi’s until it was too late. That Jews were powerless to stop the harassment, the badging, the confiscation, and the vandalism. They were powerless to stop the thuggery, the detainment, and ultimate genocide of their own people.

In fact, Jews have a saying – Never again. This isn’t like the “never forget” Americans say come September 11th. Forget isn’t a Hebrew word. Forget is not in the Jewish vernacular. Not forgetting something is easy. We Jews have one of the longest known histories of any people on this planet. It’s not because we have a short memory.

Instead the Jewish challenge is to never again, let such atrocities happen. Atrocities are not avoided with the pen. One cannot simply grab a pen, draw a circle around a problem, and expect to contain it. Rapes are not avoided with pleas of mercy. Holocaust are not avoided with diplomacy. Lest we forget, the Nazis were voted into power.

Like it or not. Agree with it or not. Whether it settles well in your political stomach or not, had Jews been armed, it’s possible the holocaust as we know it, would never have happened.

I was on the internet reading some stupid ass posts, and one Richard Hodge sarcastically wrote “Yes Genius. Jews with a few pistols could have easily defended themselves against an army that almost took over the world.”

To quote and paraphrase some of the more intelligent folks who replied, were these Jews who were rounded up and murdered better off without guns, or would they have been better off with them? The 9.5 million Jews living in Europe in 1933 would have constituted only a “few”? The Warsaw uprising is a good example of how armed citizens fought hard to defend themselves, but it was too few too late. Realistically speaking, a few million Jewish people with a few million pistols (and the ammunition to go with them) back in the mid-1930s might very well have changed history as we know it.

The world didn’t wake up one day to a fully militarized and entrenched Nazi Germany. The wave of a magic wand did not suddenly teleport millions of Jews to death camps. The holocaust happened one day at a time, one train at a time, one door knock at a time. Movements, even the Nazi movement, take time to build momentum. And enough armed people with the will to act, could have stopped it in its tracks, had they acted soon enough.

So although some might feel that the comparison is inappropriate, does not mean that the basis of the comparison is not solid.

Thank you, Dan Mcpherson, Andrew Haraldson, and Randy Leever for letting me bum your quotes.

Movies, Pop Culture, Review

2015 Movie Review Roundup

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I get free movie tickets so I see movies pretty often which is awesome. But I don’t have time to write reviews about each and every one of them unfortunately.

Well it’s been three weeks since I last wrote a blog and there were a couple really good, a couple really not-so-good movies from 2015 that I didn’t have a chance to address previously, so I’m gonna try to rattle of a couple of these.

2015 has definitely been a year of sequels. Three of the movies on this list are sequels, and one was a reboot of a decades old TV series. Unlike these years long series, I won’t drag out these reviews for too long. Nice n’ short.

Jurassic World

Guardians of the Galaxy was such a huge success and so well liked that Chris Pratt will play a parody of Star Lord for the rest of his acting career. Jurassic Park was pretty much Star Lord going on space sabbatical as a dinosaur trainer after having watched an Indiana Jones marathon.

So as far as the show’s lead goes, it was an awesome movie and truth be told as cool as the effects and the concept were, it would have blown without Pratt leading from the front.

For a sequel that came out 20 years later, I find it weird that the dinosaurs looked less real. I’m glad I saw it and I definitely enjoyed it, but it has nothing on Jurassic Park 1.

Mad Max: Fury Road

I’m not a big fan of movies that just drop you off in the middle of something without any context. Unfortunately this type of storytelling is more common. Shows like Quantico, Hunger Games.

Well Fury Road is guilty of this story telling crime. But, the action was pretty cool and they did it with minimal CGI which is always appreciated. Tom hardy played Bane for the first hour as he had a metal muzzle stuck to his face. And just like in Dark Knight Rises, Hardy’s character was also incomprehensible the entire movie as well.

The movie was plenty entertaining. But honestly, the only thing I remember is…

So shiny… so chrome…

Age of Ultron

I was looking forward to this movie the date after Avengers 1 came out. Who wasn’t? Avengers was the shit and Avengers 2 could only be twice as awesome, right?

I’ll be stoned for this fuck screw it. Age of Ultron sucked. Sucked hard. For the millionth time Tony Stark made an invention that threatened the security of the world. In Iron Man it was his weapons, and in Captain America it was the advanced helicarrier, and in Avengers two it was Skynet- er I mean Ultron.

Oh, and what was Ultron’s objective? Kill all the humans but Quicksilver and his sister weren’t part of his extermination quest?

And what’s with Vision and how did he come about? So Ultron was going all Pinocchio and tried to be a real boy by making a slightly less robotic looking red skinned version of himself, which was also part Jarvis, and powered by an infiniti stone or something? Oh and it was brought to life by Thor going Donkey Kong on it with his hammer? Huh? So what?

There was too much shit going on and the movie frankly sucked. It’s sad when a trailer is better than the movie.

Age of Adaline

AWESOME movie. Not even a rom com, this movie is a straight romance movie but I thoroughly enjoyed it. Basically this chic doesn’t age and she falls in love with this guy and turns out that like 40 years prior she had fallen in love with his father, yada yada.

But the entire movie culminates during a 10 minutes portion of the movie starring Harrison Ford. Stop it Harrison Ford, you’re making me cry!

The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

I really wish I had reviewed this one in full when I first saw it. It was a super good movie and it deserves all the praise it can get but it suffered from a small budget. Cahill and Hammer did a fantastic job fleshing out their two characters as a U.S. and Soviet Spy, respectively.

Superman is such a boring character so it was great to see Cahill get aa shot at a role with some personality. His character is a fusion of James Bond, Archer, and Neil Caffrey, and it worked flawlessly. Hammer plays a great, emotionless KGB robot. The movie was smart, action packed, well written, well casted, and it was freaking hilarious to boot! Rounding out almost any movie (except a drama) with comedy always gets an extra point in my book.

Blackmass

After 10 years of playing pale skinned weirdos, Johnny Depp finally got to play an original character. Given he plays a person who is actually real, the role was a different change of pace for Depp. The movie was violent and gritty and had sprinkles of comedy in it. It’s nothing spectacular but it’s a solid watch and one that I’ll probably buy and watch many times over. It earned a place in my DVD collection alongside Departed and The Town.

Sicario

And the most recent movie I’ve seen is Sicario. It had some big name actors, Benicio Del Toro, Josh Brolin, Emily Blunt, Jon Bernthal, and several others.

This was a true nail biter. You haven’t seen a movie this nerve wracking in years.

Everyone does an amazing job at acting. Del Toro is top notch. Blunt also did an amazing job, unfortunately her character is annoying as hell. Hopefully she doesn’t make it into the sequel.

Brolin as always brings a solid performance.

And again, it’s a crime-dramaesque film that makes its way into the gritty hall of fame alongside Traffic, Street Kings, and Training Day.

So that being said, 2015 was an interesting year. The movies you thought would be great probably made a lot of money, but gave meh performances. The movies no one heard of even four months before they came out were amazing works of art that will be fan favorites for years to come.

Culture, Home and Living

Asparagus Pee

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The ultimate sneak attack. The unpleasant surprise. It was just a quick helping. A small serving. I barely even nibbled on the appetizer with the Johnson family last night. But you make your way home and eventually nature calls, as it always does. Then like an aromatic demon ninja, the odor hits you. Sharp and pungent like a throwing star straight to your nose. Your nostrils flare with disgust. Your skin between your eyes bunches. You protest but you are stuck on the porcelain throne for at least another minute. The asparagus pee strikes again and it has taken your innocence with you.

But seriously though. A certain someone who shall not be named sneaks asparagus in to freakin’ ev-ry-thiiiiiing. I’ll have completely forgotten that I even had asparagus that day and then sure enough you make your way to the head, let ‘er rip, and struggle for air.

But the worst is when you have it for dinner and don’t use the John until the next morning. Delirious and still half asleep at 6AM you make it rain, and then it hits you. That’s the worst because none of your senses were on and operational to begin with, and without warning your sense of smell is suddenly jolted as if by an 8.0 earthquake.

You asparagus! You screwed it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

Business and Finance, Home and Living, Politics

The Truth about Federal Student Loans

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A million thank-yous to Chris Johnson for contributing this latest post to Canyoubelievethatguy.com. This is our second post from someone other than myself in the past two weeks and I am very excited and appreciative to have an additional author contributing to the site.

 His post touches on something that has been the subject of much debate recently – and that we’ll probably hear a lot about in the coming election cycle – and that is student loans, and whether or not college education and the tuition that comes with it is affordable for the average American. Chris was kind enough to get us past the fog and rhetoric, and give us some real hard facts about the issue.  Thanks Chris! -Andrew H.

Federal Student Loan Repayment Options

I was asked to say a few words on student loans. I want to start by saying that I think it is rather funny to me that after all this time in the student loan industry, the first person to ask me about this, the first person who actually reached out for information is, like me, someone who believes we already have enough tools to build a good life. Like me, he feels the game is already more than fair and that it simply requires effort, hard work and dedication. Of all the rants and complaints about free education, he is the first to ask me about this even though I have posted no less than 40 times, mentioned in conversation no less than 100 times that for most, education is already either free, or very affordable. And he asked me the first time I  mentioned it to him. To me, this says something about the people asking for more from their country vs those who ask more of themselves. Jim Rohn said it best, don’t ask for it to be easier. Ask that you become better.

With that said, I’ll jump right into it. The Federal Government has, already available several programs that allow federal student loans to become affordable. In most cases one can eliminate interest all together. I have been in finance for almost 13 years now. For the first 11 or 12 I was a Mortgage Banker. But for the last two, I have been a Compliance Officer for federal student loan programs. There are at least 7 programs available and they all serve a specific purpose depending on the borrower and where they are in life. But there are three programs that stand out. Three that literally offer anyone the ability to absolutely make their federal student loan debt affordable. The US Department of Education’s IBR (Income Based Repayment) option. Before I jump into the details,  I think it might be best to first touch on how student loans work, why they are so incredibly difficult to pay off and ultimately why they are such a problem in the US.

When you get a federal student loan, you are not taking out a mortgage. You are not qualifying for a car loan. You are taking out a heavy debt with a high interest rate you likely cannot refinance and one that will charge you interest daily. On top of that, it will compound daily. If you understand finance then you probably know at this point, most people are paying a negative amortization loan. This means that they are making payments on their loans and are not even covering the interest on a monthly basis. They are paying towards their loan(s) and the balance is actually going up.

What’s being done about this, nothing. Why? Because service providers of federal student loans have lobbyist in Washington that are second to none. The laws are not written to protect borrowers. They are written to make money. Same thing happened with mortgages and the US threw a fit. Regulation was again placed on the industry and and the entire industry was turned upside down.

 In the US, federal student loan debt exceeds car loans and credit card debt combined.

Who was to blame, the banks, the consumer? Personally I say both and I think the circumstances of each deal would have to be considered. But what scares me is that this industry is doing the very same thing and no one is even talking about it. No one seems to think its a big deal even knowing that in the US, federal student loan debt exceeds car loans and credit card debt combined. To make matters worse, a majority of this debt belongs to our young, our future. They are entering into the professional world behind the line. I will conclude this paragraph with probably the scariest and in many cases least known fact about federal student loan debt. You absolutely cannot get rid of them ever. With exception to these federal forgiveness programs and people that are 100% and permanently disabled (after the loans were acquired), these loans do not ever go away. In fact, they are on a short list of debts the government can actually garnish from disability and social security income. And make no mistake, they will. So if they are willing to take social security income from people living off of $800 to $1,500 per month, what do you think they would do to people in the work force?

So now we know federal student loans are very difficult to pay off. We know why student loans of $40,000 take 80 years to pay off while Americans in New York and Los Angeles pay off $600,000 to $800,000 mortgages in 15 and 30 years. And yes, we now know why a specific group of individuals are upset that college is too expensive. Well now we can jump back to the IBR programs offered by the US DOE. The William D. Ford Act was passed and authorizes the government to forgive federal debt. The IBR comes with it a very specific yet very short list of guidelines. Prove your income, tell them how many people you live with and they will determine what your payment should be. Do not worry about the interest. Do not worry about paying off the loan or loans.

First, they will consolidate your loans. Then, they will set you up with a term, 120 months (10 years), or up to 300 months (25 years) and or anywhere in between depending on the income and family size. They will take between 5% and 10% of your gross annual income as payment or less, again depending on family size. They evaluate this income annually. Every 12 months you must turn in one of three forms of POI (proof of income). Pay check stubs, tax returns from the previous year or bank statements in some cases. In some cases you may even be able to use tax returns from the year before last. If you are married and use returns (1040’s) they will base the payment off the borrowers AGI (Adjusted Gross Income). If you use pay stubs there is a chance you can separate the income, meaning the calculation for the borrowers payment will be based off one persons income rather than the combined income. If you already file separate returns, this too will allow the calculation to be based off one persons income. Even when separating the income, you may still use the full family size for the calculation. I understand this can become complicated and in many cases, people do screw this up. Service Providers like Naviant (previously Sallie Mae), Great Lakes and Nelnet should offer this service (and can), and for free. They don’t unless you are aware of them and ask. And if you ask me, trusting them to do it for you is like asking the prosecuting attorney to handle your defense while trying to prosecute you. Remember, they are paid off the interest.

There are also services available to assist in the evaluation and enrollment as well as management of these programs. If you seek this assistance out, under no circumstances, I repeat under NO circumstances should the consumer pay for these services until the entire process is completed. Not for any kind of application fee, not for any kind of processing fee. NOTHING, not a single dime until you are in and enrolled correctly. Even if they ask you to pay into some type escrow account, your talking to the wrong people. To add to this, these services are not a part of the program, and like the service providers borrows are already paying they do not work for, or are not a part of the federal government.

If you can manage this yourself, you should. If on the other hand you are the type of person who has a hard time with this sort of thing, or if you are not good at staying on top of things like this, I’d recommend the assistance. To receive the forgiveness or complete the program, the evaluation, like I said earlier must be completed annually, every 12 months until the term is up. Only then, when the term is up can you provide proof that the program has been completed. As a rule of thumb, I ask people this, do you do your own taxes? Or do you hire someone to do them for you? Use that same thought here. Another example I use for clients, if you get a speeding ticket, you would not hire an attorney to fight it. It simply wouldn’t be worth it. If on the other hand you hit and killed someone with your car (on accident of course) you would probably hire one. Well if you owe $5, $10 or maybe $15,k, that’s like a speeding ticket. $20, $50 or $100,k plus… Obviously I work for one of these companies. I assure you, they are quite compliant, it’s my job to make sure they are. If it is done correctly, if you are enrolled, maintain enrollment annually and keep up on the payment the government will forgive the remaining amount owed at the end of the term. You can still go into deferment or forbearance but you will not receive credit during this time towards the forgiveness. If you have an unstable income, or if you are not in a career type work environment, you may see income go up one year and down the next. No problem. The term will adjust accordingly. The best way to look at it, the higher the income, the higher the payment but the lower the term. The lower the income, the lower the payment but higher the term up to 25 years unless, you qualify for PSLF or PAYE.

PSLF is another program that falls under the IBR option. If you work in public service or non profit, the term is automatically 120 months or 10 years. This includes but is certainly not limited to: Police Officers, Teachers, Church employees, Soldiers and Nurses. Anyone paid by the state, the government or even local government like city and county employees. You pay an affordable payment, many times a payment of zero for 10 years and then your debt is forgiven. And this is not some kind of hand out, it is not a compromise. It’s simply an alternative to a standard amortization. Instead of paying off your loans, with a payment based on balance and interest, you make a payment based off income and family size and for a specific amount of time. The Government feels that they will get enough from you from the term set. They are willing to take whatever this amount comes to at the end of the agreed term. The difference here, with PSLF is that as long as you are employed by public service or non profit, you will be finished after 10 years regardless of how much you’ve paid towards your debt. Even if you’ve paid zero dollars. Another program, Pay As You Earn (PAYE) is similar, only the term is 240 month or 20 years. The PAYE program also starts at a lower percentage, meaning they only take up to 5% of the borrowers gross annual income. This program is for any employment type but the loans must have been acquired after late (end of November) 2007.

So in the end, anyone qualifies as long as the loan(s) are federal. There are private student loans as well and if you do not know what kind you have, you can ask your service provider. If you are familiar with FASFA or the DOE, you likely have federal student loans, not private. Or, if you want, my information is below. I’d be happy to assist anyone or refer them to an Account Manager that can. If you owe federal student loan debt, this is the best and most efficient way to repay them, period. The only exception, specific circumstances and loans. Parent Plus Loans are limited to one program and in some cases, the benefit is not all that great. Still worth looking into though. If you have consolidated and then defaulted, could be tough to get approved. Again, it cannot hurt to find out.

I will leave you with an example. A man lives with his wife, two children and his wife’s mother. So the family size is 5. His income is roughly $32,000 per year and is steady. I might add that with a family size of five, he could make upwards of another $5 to $7,k per year and his payment would be the same as it is now, $0 (zero dollars per month). He pays $0 per month, has been in the program 3 years and has thus far has paid absolutely nothing on his student loans. Based on his percentage increase in income every year, he will pay $0 for another 4 years. That is seven years with no payment. If he is lucky, and his income increases to what he expects, on his 8th year in the program he will qualify for a $10 per month payment. In the 10th year, his final year because he is a teacher, he will pay $40 per month. That means that he will pay $720 over a ten year period of time and on a $45,000 federal student loan. He entrusted us to manage this for him and the payment to us is $39.42 per month. Add that up over 10 years,  you get $4,730.40. So all together, he will pay $5,450.40 and he will not even have to think about interest. Not to mention, once he enrolled, his DTI (Debt to Income) ratio came down TO ZERO. His credit scores improved and his monthly affordability came up.

Compare this to what he was doing… $45,000 at 6.8%. He had just left deferment and had agreed to pay $450 per month. It would have taken him 12 years and 3 months to pay off and he would have paid $21,047.83 in interest alone. So he was on track to pay $66,047.83. Now, he will pay $5,450.40 and in less time. Show me a country that offers that, with the same amount of opportunity, same market and the same amount of citizens. Personally, I call that free education.

–Chris Johnson, VP, Compliance for Student Advocates,  September 2, 2015

Chris’s Information is included below:

Cell: 562-231-4120.
Office: 714-473-1800.
Email: cjohnson@r3group.org
Life, Society

Thank You, and Paying It Forward

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This will be a quick post as I have work this morning but it’s past due.

Last weekend I was taking my dog Major into the self-groomers at Petco Unleashed for some father son bonding time. I’ve been there about 3 times before with Major, and this was nothing special. Except that this time Major decided to leave a present in the trunk of my Xterra before we got there. Being as I didn’t get him as a puppy, I suspect he’s 9-10 years old now and even though he’s not quite yet incontinent, car trips sometimes leave us with a steamy mess of Major.

Last weekend was also blazing hot, about 96 in La Mesa, so when I arrived at the parking lot of Petco I had to clean up the mess as quickly as possible. Naturally Major had lost his footing during the ride and managed to get it everywhere. I had no one to hold the leash so I tied him to my rims while he rested under the Xterra for some shade while I cleaned up the mess. I was short on cleaning supplies, and was having a lot of difficulty.

Then backup arrived. A woman approached me in the parking lot, nice as ever, and saw I was having some difficulty. She had three kids with her to boot. It was a hot day, and I was a stranger, covered in filth, accompanied by a menacing looking dog. For convenience, for fear of being assaulted by a strange man, or bit by a huge dog, she could have continued on her way, but she approached anyways and asked if I could use any help.

We chit chatted for a minute or so. She understood my situation as she was a dog lover, and had just gone through the horrible experience of euthanizing two older dogs herself, earlier in the year. She hustled to her car, and without being asking she returned bearing gifts. She had a full roll of paper towels and a pack of baby/cleaning wipes. It wasn’t a steam cleaner but it was 100x better than what I was working with, and it spared me a lot of stress, embarrassment, and sweat as I sat there in the sizzling blacktop parking lot desperately trying to clean crap out of my car, with my poor dog trying to escape the heat by hiding under it.

It was incredibly helpful, and my day could have been a lot worse had it not been for that lady’s help. To the unknown mother of three who helped me and more importantly, helped my dog when we needed it, THANK YOU SO MUCH. You made my day. You made my week. And I will always remember and be grateful for what you did.

Paying it forward

Last night I had the opportunity to pay it forward, and maybe coincidentally, or maybe by fate, I happened to be with Major again when it happened.

I was taking Major on his evening walk, and there was a guy across the street crawled under his car, clearly working on something. He had his front tires jacked up, and whatever he was doing you can tell he looked a little flustered. The sun was setting and though the sky was still rosy pink and orange, it was dark out, and I could only imagine how dark it was under the car. I didn’t think too much of it, and went on my walk.

About 40 minutes later as our walk was winding down and I was going back home, I saw the guy was still out there, under his car. It had gotten much darker, and he was holding his cell phone in his mouth as a makeshift flashlight. His wife/girlfriend sitting on the curb next to him.

I took Major inside and grabbed this funky kick-stand flashlight thing. It seems gimmicky and like something I never thought would serve a purpose, but it earned it’s stripes last night. I walked out and approached the couple and asked if he could use any help, and handed him the flashlight. The man, already flustered, had a slight sigh of relief when he no longer had to wrestle with his wrench while balancing a flashlight. I crawled under the car with him to see what he was having difficulty with. Turns out all he needed was a 3/8 inch socket extender, which I have an army of. I ran back home and a minute later the guy was making some real progress on replacing his water pump. He said he could take it from there.

I woke up this morning and the flashlight and tool were sitting next to each other right by my front door, and the car was gone. Hope it all worked out brother.

Culture, Movies, Pop Culture, Review

We Are Your Friends: Movie Review

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Please welcome the first of what I hope are many entertaining posts from one of our new authors, Brett. -Andrew, the editor, Aug 27, 2015.

A couple of nights ago, I was offered pre-screening passes to go check out the new film “We Are Your Friends”. The film is the new Zac Efron feature about a 23-year old guy who is aspiring to be an electronic music producer and DJ. Now, I still am sort of uncertain what genre of movie this film is classified as, but it definitely earns its “R” rating for profanity, drug usage, and topless women. This was actually a movie that I had really been interested in seeing for reasons I’ll explain shortly, so I definitely jumped at the opportunity to get an advanced look at it. As I eagerly waited for the show to start, I pondered the direction of the movie, and what angle it would take with the rising electronic dance music (EDM) DJ/producer scene. Having personal history and involvement with the EDM scene as both fan and DJ/producer, I knew this movie would bring back a ton of memories, and show numerous aspects of the industry that I’d be able to connect with.

The movie begins with Cole (Efron) discussing the EDM scene, and all that it takes to become a “super-star DJ”. Immediately after, you get a glimpse of the reality of what it’s like to be an aspiring DJ. As Cole works on a new track he’s creating, you figure out that his close friend and acting agent/manager is on the phone with the local night club to negotiate Cole’s DJ set time and their promoting commissions. The remaining two friends in Cole’s group are introduced, and the four friends head to the nearby university to try and promote the show to girls and other students.

Fast-forward to the night of the show, and Cole heads out with his buddies to the club. Cole was slotted to play the middle set in the patio side room. All of a sudden, the glitz and glam of being a DJ get diminished, and the crew gets a harsh reality of the industry. Cole catches his lucky break near the end of the club night when he ends up befriending the headlining DJ.

Cole’s new DJ friend enables his career to progress to far beyond where he was going on his own. Still, simply DJ’ing alone isn’t funding his friends with enough money to grow their empire, so the crew all suits up and gets commissioned based jobs at a local financial real estate firm. Cole continues to improve and develop his new track with the feedback from his DJ friend, and ends up debuting the song at his festival gig at the end of the film.

False Impressions

After seeing the trailer for this movie a few times, I was sure that this movie was going to be about Cole making it big in the scene and playing major shows and festivals. What I was unsure of though was if there would be an actual story line and if there would be any substance to the content. Being a fairly marketed film with a decent known actor, I was sure I’d be surprised.

I really was not sure what the plot would be about, and how there would be an actual story associated with this kid turning into a DJ. Good thing I was wrong!

There was actually a surprising amount of plot and character development associated with this film. There were surprises that weren’t predictable, and there was definitely a climax to the movie. The movie still encapsulates the heart of EDM, but adds a relatable story to boot.

Connection to EDM Culture

It’s no surprise that this movie is about an EDM DJ. What’s not so obvious is the type of connection that there will be to the low-level every-day fan, as well as the aspiring DJ’s. Being a former club DJ and EDM fan, I found relationships to almost every angle that the movie presented. It was amazing how many accurate portrayals there were of the industry throughout the film.

Let’s start with drugs. Yes, drugs. Since this is a huge association with EDM from outsiders, this seems like an appropriate topic to discuss first. Yes, there are drugs in EDM. Fans take them, musicians take them. I think that goes without saying that every musical genre has had narcotic influence for both fans and artists. One particular drug probably comes to mind though when referring to EDM – Molly/ecstasy. This film definitely has more than enough ‘E’ influence to accommodate the surrounding stereotypes about raves and clubs with the drug.

Another large connection is showing the annoyance of what being a club promoter and local DJ is really like. Having come from a background where I did club promotions and DJ’ing for several years, this is definitely relatable and extremely accurate. It was definitely nice to see the film clearly show all these current aspiring DJ super-stars what the harsh reality of the EDM scene is all about for artists and non-fans.

Along the same lines as the annoyances of actually being a DJ, the movie shows the annoyances of actual music production. However, I will say that the shots of Cole hammering it out behind the computer working on his new jam were a bit excessive. Ok, we get it! He works hours and hours and is SUPER lucky to have a nice studio to work in. Nevertheless, it is a relatable parallel with the reality of the time involved into creating EDM masterpieces.

Are We Better Than This?

This phrase seems to be the subconscious theme throughout this movie. The line does come spoken several times in the movie as well as (*spoiler*) Cole’s track that he plays during his final festival gig. I can’t help but think about all the parallels and subtle connections to this line, as well as what the film is implying about the EDM lifestyle.

Neither Cole nor his friends have graduated college. They maintain the hope that they will hit it big in their musical industry careers, and have heavily banked on that. At the start of the movie, none of them had actual day jobs to pay the bills and such. They lived with one of the friends Dad’s, and drove another friends mom’s station wagon to the club events. Apparently none of the guys even have bank accounts, as there were multiple shots of Cole storing all of his cash in a shoebox underneath his bed (make sure you stick around after the credits and you’ll see why this shoebox becomes relevant).

There seemed to be no future for the guys, and no definite plan. The group gets jobs with a company dealing with “aiding” foreclosed homeowners. Despite the income, Cole questions the integrity of the business, and what it’s doing to the people that it is supposed to be helping. This issue combined with the stagnant EDM lifestyle is what sparks the question from Cole’s friend Squirrel, “Are we better than this?”

Conclusion

Overall I’d rate this movie about 6.5/10 stars. The film definitely kept my attention, and kept me engaged. Surprisingly there was a decent story line. I’m definitely glad that the whole movie was not about Cole being a super DJ and touring around to different shows. It was nice to have the movie be more centered on the challenges and negatives of the industry, vice the fame and fortune as people perceive it.

I may be a bit biased about this movie with my involvement in the EDM industry, but hopefully that’ll help serve to add credibility to my review. I would say though, that this is definitely a movie that you would be just fine seeing on Redbox or Netflix. There was nothing remotely spectacular about seeing it on a big screen. This does not mean I feel as if I wasted my 90 minutes. The movie in itself is very enjoyable and entertaining, but I’m hoping to do you a favor by recommending saving your theatre money and seeing this in your home.

I don’t really anticipate “We Are Your Friends” being a title in my DVD/Blue-Ray collection. I do get surprise gifts sometimes, so if that ends up being the case, then I will definitely watch this movie again. I will most likely watch it again on Netflix regardless, but had I not had screening passes to see this film, I wouldn’t be giving them my money at the box office.

Sane rantings from an insane dude.